My Daddy Dom just dumped me in the worst way

[kawaiighostx]

Hello!

Not sure why I decided to turn to the internet, but here I am haha. As the title states, my "daddy" of four months decided to suddenly end things with me last night and I couldn't be more heartbroken. He was new to being a daddy and dom, however seemed to be natural at it. Things were very good between us, and he was really loving and affectionate. He didn't really enforce rules or anything, which upset me. (That's besides the point though). He never made any indication that being a "daddy" made him uncomfortable. I would check in with him regularly to see how he felt about it, and he always seemed positive and seemed to like it. 

 

Last night he suddenly called and said I was too much for him to handle, and he found the dynamic "gross" and me "disgusting." Before our relationship started, I told him what the dynamic was, and that I was into it. I told him of my separation anxiety and fear of him leaving. I told him everything. He seemed to take what I told him and just throw it in my face. 

 

I am so incredibly crushed by this. Has anyone else had to deal with a similar situation? Any tips on self care during this time? Thanks

-Chloe

[Miklos]

Hello I am sorry you had to go through this. I experienced something similar, a woman stayed with me and tried to be something she wasn't, all the while insisting that she was into it and trying to play along. She did the best she could because she didn't want to leave me but she knew we wouldn't have the kind of relationship we both wanted.

Any type of heartbreak is hard to go through but I think something like this only makes it more difficult. It's really messed up he would think those things about you when really he is the one who can't accept you for who you are. He was the one not being true to himself. Just remember you have done nothing wrong and you are not disgusting or bad in any way for anything you believe in. As for self care I'd say take some time by yourself and don't rush into the next relationship that seems viable. Do anything and everything you enjoy doing now that you don't have to worry about anyone else's opinion.

And when the right Daddy comes along you will know pretty quick if He is good for you or not.

[Guest Aetherr]

agree with miklos, he basically lied to you which is a real shame because he put himself through a situation that made him unhappy and he led you to believe he liked it and that led you to be unhappy, or it could be that he just tried it for a while then decided one day that he wasnt into it, you say he never setup any rules or anything like that, i would be curious to know why you guys never talked about that, you might have gotten some truth from him over that, either way thats in the past.. i hope you heal and find happiness

[Miklos]

you say he never setup any rules or anything like that, i would be curious to know why you guys never talked about that, you might have gotten some truth from him over that

That part.

If that upset you Kawaii it's not besides the point. It's the difference between talking the talk and walking the walk. The difference between a Daddy and a control freak.

[Guest RobinHerrera]

I'm very sorry.    I read your post earlier, and have been thinking a lot about it.  I had something a little bit similar happen. Although he did not use words like gross and disgusting, cause he knew Ida punched him square in the snoot! That was simply uncalled for, for him to do that, no ifs ands or buts.  And he was certainly a BUTT for doing that to you!  He could have, and should have, approached it much better and in a much more mature way. Lots of people think they want to be a Dom of some sort, but when it comes down to it, they just can't hang with the commitment and devotion that it really means.  Their loss. 

I am very sorry he was such a great big snot.  I will share all my candy with you, and we can color pictures of him getting kicked in the knee!  <3 * big hugs *  A real Daddy is out there, made special just for you!

[baby_k]

Just as others have said: it is about him, not you.

 

You were as honest about your needs and wants as you could be, he wasn't. He tried something that didn't fit him. Unfortunately what often happens, is that people who have done that lash out and blame everyone else from their own failure to fullfill role they themselves wanted to take.

 

I guess it is some sort of panic reaction, something theydo to try to take off the guilt from themselves.... Often seems they tried too hard to be something they are not, and they did not know who they were ( this btw happens with people any age.... So, don't think that if you talk to older dude, he would be any better ). And then they get absolutely exhausted of the situation they are at as faking what you are is super draining. And the panic of "gotta get out from this" starts. It is sort of human: after your energy has been used, you behave in nasty manner as you just try to get out from something that is harming you but have no means to do it in mature fashion or without harming innocent bystanders ( I count you as one ).

 

I don't want to scare you but I spent two YEARS in rel like that. So, at least you found out soon enough Not sure it helps but maybe try to see it that way.

 

I think it can be really damaging to hear that you are "weird", "disgusting", "too much" etcetc. But he tells more of himself than you. There are people who are okay with what you are. They may be rare but they exist. Not sure what else I can say...

 

Just that you deserve to be accepted as you are. There is no magic trick to change you into someone else. And even if there was, it would no be you anymore, right? So, be loved as who you are, not something you are not. He just wasn't right person to do that but it does not mean there is anything wrong with you or that you are somehow faulty or not fitting. You just didn't fit with him.

 

Edit: typos......

 

Edit2: It also is imo upsetting to realise you were sort of lied to. It feels like betrayal. Unfortunately it happens, they didn't mean to do it but it still happened.

 

Just next time around try to find person who has better understanding of themselves and/or can talk about things with you and analyse themselves better. As that sort of person wouldn't find themselves in the situation like your "daddy" did. Or they would realise it sooner when they still can end things with you in decent manner without lashing out on you.

Edited October 27, 2018 by baby_k

[⭐️little.bee⭐️]

Keep in your mind that it was his fault and not yours. You made him from the beginning aware of what you're into and what you expect. But it kind of gives me the vibe that it was some kind of excuse because you obviously asked him several times if he is comfortable? 

 

I have anxiety as well and had a situation where my ex dumped me suddenly. It hurt like crazy. Turns out he is bipolar. What helped me to get over it is to spend more time with friends and taking care of myself and get to know new people, sounds basic but it works wonders..

 

Honestly I'm not too sure how it is to start with someone a ddlg relationship from day one. It takes a lot of trust. Me and my boyfriend got together into it and thats after like 6-8 months of dating. 

 

 

I hope you get well soon

[nevergrowup]

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. My last bf was my daddy too. My first daddy really he helped me discover I was little and encouraged it.

 

We dated for almost two years and he even collared me. I was gonna move in with him but then he just turned around and said the same things that it was weird and I was too much and he didn't have romantic feelings for me anymore.

It was deviating.

 

I found out that less than a week after he got a sugar daddy (not Ddlg) but I have feelings it was going on when we were still together.

 

It hurt for a few months and a year later I've only gotten over it. If its any comfort I'm really glad now it ended I would have moved away from my friends and family and worked in a job I wasn't happy at.

The universe has a way of looking out for you even when it hurts

[khittyn]

This just happened to me also. Who has had a “good” parting of ways with their Daddy and what did that look like? What would your ideal parting look like, is it realistic, and do you have any ideas on how to meet that expectation? Edited October 31, 2018 by khittyn