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    'She might be a little/sub, but she's not YOUR sub/little... yet

    ddlg kindness caring think daddy submissive nurturing

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    #1 NorCalDD

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    Posted 14 January 2019 - 06:51 PM

    I posted something very similar to this on another site and I realized it applies to DDlg as well so I wanted to share some thoughts:

     

    I seem to be running into a recurring theme based on the conversations I’ve had with assorted women who identify as submissive/little. The plot seems to go like this… Submissive/little gets contacted online by a Daddy Dom. DD instantly tries to get her to be submissive/little to him by calling her pet names or telling her what he would do to her or ordering her around. Submissive/little female is (usually) not amused and instantly blocks the Daddy from sending any more messages.

    Doing this (as a Daddy) makes no sense for the most part. Many men, unfortunately completely miss that, yes she might be a sub/little but she’s not YOUR sub/little the moment you meet. At least not yet. She’s not submissive/little to every person she meets. She doesn't owe a stranger any devotion, love, naked pictures, sex, etc... More than likely she’s going to be submissive ONLY to a person with whom she can build trust and respect with first.

    Most men seem to completely miss the fact that you must first seduce/capture a woman’s mind, before you can seduce/capture her body. The huge part of DDlg is the psychological aspect of the whole thing. It's really all about creating a different reality to enjoy. The mind is an original zone, gentlemen. Think about how you can stimulate that part first. Be kind, caring, nurturing, loving and supportive. If you can turn on a woman’s mind, her body will surely follow. Now, I don’t mean this in a manipulative way in any way at all, just stating some psychological facts that tend to apply to most of the human race. People want to feel a certain way about you before they lust for you.

    Being confident is one thing, but coming across as an abusive asshole is another. Sure, some littles will love it, but most will just run the other way. Learn the way of the mind and you will open doors you didn’t even know existed.
     

     


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    #2 SamL

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    Posted 14 January 2019 - 07:01 PM

     

     Learn the way of the mind and you will open doors you didn’t even know existed.

     

    Then you probably know that a post like this is 37.5 times more effective than a personal ad. :)


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    #3 Naturalselectionissexy

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    Posted 14 January 2019 - 07:59 PM

    She is never yours. It just might be your turn.

    #4 MysticSand

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    Posted 14 January 2019 - 08:09 PM

    I'd like to add that this post can apply to any gender/label. I've definitely heard stories of Littles also instantly asking DD's to be their Little but then ghost shortly after or then complain that they are treated poorly. Buuuuuuut, I also think (and hope?) that those type of interactions are more common among younger populations that haven't quite figured out what a relationship on any scale consists of besides titles and pet names.

     

    So, overall, yeah I can see it. But there's plenty of wariness to go around for all genders and labels! 

    Those that seek attention (different than a relationship), sometimes do so destructively without realizing it.

    For example, the status posts that go along the lines of "I wish I had a DD/Little...."  =|


    • Little_Ghoul, RavenclawPrincess, SamL and 1 other like this

    “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” -Dr. Seuss


    #5 NorCalDD

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    Posted 14 January 2019 - 08:14 PM

    I'd like to add that this post can apply to any gender/label. I've definitely heard stories of Littles also instantly asking DD's to be their Little but then ghost shortly after or then complain that they are treated poorly. Buuuuuuut, I also think (and hope?) that those type of interactions are more common among younger populations that haven't quite figured out what a relationship on any scale consists of besides titles and pet names.

     

    So, overall, yeah I can see it. But there's plenty of wariness to go around for all genders and labels! 

    Those that seek attention (different than a relationship), sometimes do so destructively without realizing it.

    For example, the status posts that go along the lines of "I wish I had a DD/Little...."  =|

    You are 100% correct! It absolutely can apply to all gender/labels, I just feel that we men as a whole tend to mess this up the most.  B)



    #6 Guest_FirmHand_*

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    Posted 14 January 2019 - 11:39 PM

    If you really step back and think about this though....who is this post supposed to help? The true/experienced Daddy already knows this and 100% agrees with you. The fake Daddy is either too dim or knows and doesn't care. It's "Being a DD 101" not to call a little/sub pet names without her permission. 

    My money is on SamL and this is just an ultra effective personals ad :) 

    Only some lighthearted ribbing. Cheers!


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    #7 Prat

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    Posted 15 January 2019 - 05:39 AM

    I posted something very similar to this on another site and I realized it applies to DDlg as well so I wanted to share some thoughts:
     
    I seem to be running into a recurring theme based on the conversations I’ve had with assorted women who identify as submissive/little. The plot seems to go like this… Submissive/little gets contacted online by a Daddy Dom. DD instantly tries to get her to be submissive/little to him by calling her pet names or telling her what he would do to her or ordering her around. Submissive/little female is (usually) not amused and instantly blocks the Daddy from sending any more messages.Doing this (as a Daddy) makes no sense for the most part. Many men, unfortunately completely miss that, yes she might be a sub/little but she’s not YOUR sub/little the moment you meet. At least not yet. She’s not submissive/little to every person she meets. She doesn't owe a stranger any devotion, love, naked pictures, sex, etc... More than likely she’s going to be submissive ONLY to a person with whom she can build trust and respect with first.
    Most men seem to completely miss the fact that you must first seduce/capture a woman’s mind, before you can seduce/capture her body. The huge part of DDlg is the psychological aspect of the whole thing. It's really all about creating a different reality to enjoy. The mind is an original zone, gentlemen. Think about how you can stimulate that part first. Be kind, caring, nurturing, loving and supportive. If you can turn on a woman’s mind, her body will surely follow. Now, I don’t mean this in a manipulative way in any way at all, just stating some psychological facts that tend to apply to most of the human race. People want to feel a certain way about you before they lust for you.
    Being confident is one thing, but coming across as an abusive asshole is another. Sure, some littles will love it, but most will just run the other way. Learn the way of the mind and you will open doors you didn’t even know existed.


    Not really news but thanks for the topic!

    #8 Guest_lil-kitten22_*

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    Posted 15 January 2019 - 03:07 PM

    For people who have been DDs for a long time, or even those who have done a ton of looking around on the subject this may seem like a no-duh, but to those who are first learning about CGl, the 18 yo who are on here the first time and used to high school hook ups, those giddy to get into a relationship this post really is helpful.
    There is no list out there on how to be a perfect daddy, how to get a little, how to be the perfect little, or how to get a daddy. Everyone is different. So having even the most simple advise available for anyone who needs it or needs a reminder is helpful at the end of the day.
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    #9 Guest_🐾🐾Squirrel paws🐾🐾_*

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    Posted 16 January 2019 - 05:07 AM

    The plot seems to go like this… Submissive/little gets contacted online by a Daddy Dom. DD instantly tries to get her to be submissive/little to him by calling her pet names or telling her what he would do to her or ordering her around.


    Thank you for this. Both littles and Dominants need to also realize a single statement is not an invitation for them in particular. It can be a simple verbalization and not always meant to invite. Responding to a message doesn't mean they agree to be your little or Dominant. We are all adults, this is about consent you must use your words. Don't be creepy, this is how people end up in relationships and have no idea. I can't be the only one that has had the surprise experience of finding out you were 'dating' someone and had no idea. Each party must agree! Even children can manage to scribble out a clear question and ask their interest to answer yes or no.
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    #10 q.t.pie

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    Posted 07 February 2019 - 07:24 AM

    Honestly, I find it helpful too! When I first discovered I was a little and started getting more involved with the community, I didn't realize that behavior like this was a major red flag--I just figured that was how it was. Thankfully now I know, but for someone who's just browsing the forum, it's a really helpful post! Hopefully it helps people to not make the mistake I did

    #11 Littlepiggy0

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    Posted 07 February 2019 - 05:41 PM

    She is never yours. It just might be your turn.

     

    Never yours, that's for sure....who wants a daddy with that attitude?



    #12 NorCalDD

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    Posted 07 February 2019 - 08:39 PM

    Never yours, that's for sure....who wants a daddy with that attitude?

     

    Ok, we can play semantics, but you're taking what I said a tad too literally. Yes, I know NO ONE belongs to anyone.  :)



    #13 Littlepiggy0

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    Posted 07 February 2019 - 10:24 PM

    People do belong to each other! Someone needs to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's 😜

    Edited by Littlepiggy0, 07 February 2019 - 10:42 PM.






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