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    Finding a caregiver, what's it like?

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    #1 SuperSquishy

    SuperSquishy

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    Posted 17 May 2019 - 07:41 PM

    Hi, I've known for a long time now that I'm a little, about 3-8. I have a husband, but I've always wondered what it's like to have a Careegiver too, nonsexual. Can you tell me what it's like? And how to find one for me?

    Edited by SuperSquishy, 17 May 2019 - 08:05 PM.


    #2 LittleTeacup

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    Posted 17 May 2019 - 07:59 PM

    Hi, welcome to the forum!!!

     

    Before I can answer your question, I need to know whether you mean a "career" as in the title or "carer" as in the post. :)


    Big age: 28

    Little age: 5-7

     

    Children don't worry what they look like to others. They are 100% themselves. When we get older, we learn to fit in society by submerging those parts of ourselves that our culture looks down on. We don't want to be rejected by our parents. We don't want to be rejected by our peers. Growing up may include re-embracing ourselves even if we must stand alone.

     

    Thank you for being here as I re-embrace the Self I'm meant to be.

     

    (Note: I'm not looking for a caregiver right now. Please don't ask.)


    #3 SuperSquishy

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    Posted 17 May 2019 - 08:04 PM

    Sorry, I mean as in a caregiver

    #4 LittleTeacup

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    Posted 17 May 2019 - 08:25 PM

    Ok, I thought so but I wanted to check first! :)

     

    The first step I think is telling your husband. Does he know you want this? Can he be your caregiver? If he can't be your caregiver, he still should know if you're looking for someone else because even if nonsexual, the relationship between a little and caregiver can still be very deep and emotional.

     

    Then, I think it's important to clarify exactly what you want. Do you want a caregiver who is big on rules and punishments? Someone who is more nurturing and cuddly? Someone significantly older than you or around your age?

     

    After that you can either look for somebody at a ddlg convention or meetup, or post a personal ad on this website or another one. You can also try acting cute and little (to a reasonable extent) in public and try to make friends who like that behavior. Maybe others here can tell you their experiences since I don't have a caregiver yet either. :)


    • Littlest_Bee likes this

    Big age: 28

    Little age: 5-7

     

    Children don't worry what they look like to others. They are 100% themselves. When we get older, we learn to fit in society by submerging those parts of ourselves that our culture looks down on. We don't want to be rejected by our parents. We don't want to be rejected by our peers. Growing up may include re-embracing ourselves even if we must stand alone.

     

    Thank you for being here as I re-embrace the Self I'm meant to be.

     

    (Note: I'm not looking for a caregiver right now. Please don't ask.)


    #5 Little kaiya

    Little kaiya

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    Posted 17 May 2019 - 09:16 PM

    Hi, I've known for a long time now that I'm a little, about 3-8. I have a husband, but I've always wondered what it's like to have a Careegiver too, nonsexual. Can you tell me what it's like? And how to find one for me?

    What is it like to have a caregiver, well that answer is going to be very different for different relationship dynamics and different people.

    For myself, well, I'm married to an amazing woman and we also have my Daddy/Dom/Boyfriend who completes our closed triad. My Daddy doesn't currently live with us but is over often enough that he might as well, lol.

    My Daddy is also my Dom and carries the key to my collar so as a caregiver he is nurturing but also doesn't let my bratiness go very far or without consequences.

    He reads me stories every night, will feed me bottles, gushes over pictures that I colour for him, even when they aren't great, and in general sets rules to encourage my physical and mental well being. His care means the world to me and let's me escape the stresses of my job when it gets to be too much. His heartbeat soothes and comforts me when I fall asleep on his chest. His approval and pride when I behave makes my heart sing. He is a wonderful, caring, giving man that loves his babygirl very much. On the flip side, he is also an incredible Dom and Boyfriend who can challenge me mentally and explore the world with my wife and I.

    The Caregiver/little bond between us is very emotionally intimate and is nothing I would ever have pursued if he wasn't also part of our our triad. Personally, I couldn't have a caregiver I also didn't love, the bond and emotions it creates are too strong for me.

    As for finding a caregiver, well that will also vary person to person. I would suggest start by having an open conversation with your spouse to set rules and parameters for what is ok and what isn't, including emotional, physical and psychological limits. Even if you are seeking a nonsexual caregiver it can still be VERY emotionally intimate which some spouses could find hard to accept. Do you want face to face or long distance? Short caregiving sessions or longer? Explore fully your expectations before looking for someone.

    After that get involved with the online and your local community. Get to know people first and dont just jump at the first caregiver, COMPATIBILITY MATTERS! Before any caregiving get to know the person and let them get to know you, dont rush. Finding the right caregiver, in my opinion at least, should be critical.

    Having a caregiver isnt required to be a little. That said, I know for me it enhances the experience and seeing my Daddy's smile makes my heart bloom but it took time for us both to find, trust and open up to each other and that time was what built the beautiful relationship we have now.

    Little kaiya

    Edited by Little kaiya, 17 May 2019 - 09:19 PM.

    • Littlest_Bee and ForeverFluffy like this
    Little kaiya 💖🦊💖





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