Need help figuring things outDaddy mommy confusion communication issues poly problems polyamorous Littles argument advice
Posted 21 November 2019 - 10:51 PM
The beginnings of this issue stem from this little who isn’t truly a little. Let’s call her “L”. L moved in around April and proceeded to take over a lot of the tasks around the house, one of which was being “head submissive” since her headspace is older than mine. L is also a transgender female, but she never ever does anything to make herself seem feminine or even take her meds so she’s misgendered a lot. L took her role as head submissive too seriously and began to control me as if I was her submissive. Mommy already hated her because she’s rude and has a habit of eavesdropping and is extremely loud and annoying. L began to use her power to harass me and try to get me to leave the family. I won’t go into details, but for the past 8 months, I’ve been blamed for most of her wrong doings and been sexually harassed by her on many occasions.
Recently, I finally told Daddy what had happened and he and Mommy are working on getting L moved out of the house, but they said it’s going to take some time because they don’t want to just drop her off on the side of the road with her things. I understand that, but now I’m not allowed in the house until she is moved out so I have to live in a dorm at my college instead of with Mommy and Daddy. And on top of that, because of L, I had a severe anxiety attack and now Daddy thinks I want to leave him and Mommy too and won’t listen to me when I try to explain that it’s not his fault. We had a huge argument today over it and he tried to say that I painted him out to he abusive to one of my best friends. I did not and even she knows that I didn’t but it feels like Daddy is trying to push me away.
I just need some advice on this situation and I’m happy to expand on it if I need to but I just really don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t know if Daddy wants me or if Mommy does or if this is the end for me. If anyone could help, that would be great.
Thank you guys,
- aquadragon1250 likes this
Posted 22 November 2019 - 04:58 AM
Posted 22 November 2019 - 07:15 AM
Hi aquadragon. I'm really sorry that you're going through such a difficult time. The whole situation sounds complicated and it seems to have become quite messy with this "L". From what you're saying it sounds like your needs have become secondary to others. If this relationship with your mommy and daddy has changed so drastically perhaps it's time to reevaluate things.
Perhaps you can use your time away from the home to focus on yourself and find out what you want and need. Do you have friends outside of all this that you can spend time with? Are you able to spend time being little when you're by yourself?
I just wanted to add that I think that jellybeanmonster has given such good advice and because of this I'm editing my post slightly. Also, by reevaluate I meant to review and revisit, to think things over and not "end your relationship" which is maybe how that came across![/edit]
Edited by hideouslovely, 22 November 2019 - 02:35 PM.
Posted 22 November 2019 - 08:03 AM
communication is so key in polyamorous relationships, and this is exactly why.
i'm sorry you & your polycule are experiencing this.
bad relationships happen, and in units like polyamorous ones, they effect everyone, not just the couple involved.
it's time to have a serious meta-talk with your Mommy and Daddy.
sit down just the three of you in person, and read them this post.
read them the post.
"L" may seem like the problem here, but she's just the messy after-effects of a flawed communication model.
doubt seeps into vulnerable places, and makes things more difficult.
your partners need to trust you & your words -- be as clear as possible.
write it down first if it helps.
but until they are able to listen to you & really hear you, nothing will change, as harsh as that sounds.
you guys sound like a really strong unit who hit a rough patch with a toxic relationship.
you'll get through it, but only as a unit.
be honest & open.
be patient with yourselves.
- Aetherr likes this
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Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Daddy, mommy, confusion, communication, issues, poly problems, polyamorous, Littles, argument, advice
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