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Letting go?… *UPDATE*


PrettyinPinkxx22
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Hello 🙂 

 

I am a new little girl (27yo), I just discovered my kink a couple of months ago. Luckily, I found the most amazing Daddy! I now know he is everything I wanted in a daddy. He was really patient with me and took the time to know me and little me. Despite our time differences, me from the UK and him from Australia, we talked every single day. If we weren’t sleeping or working, we’d be talking. We've been together for about nearly 5 months now. 

 

It has now been over a week since he last messaged me and I feel so heartbroken. I have no idea what's going on, everything with us was normal and fine (although a few days before he left he did mention that his grandmother had had really been unwell). And I also remember when we first started talking that he may go through some periods of anxiety/depression. (I also don't think he would ghost me on purpose.) His last message to me was that he was thinking of me. We've been using the Kik app and all my messages have received an auto reply saying that his phone might be off/disconnected and my message will be delivered when they connect again. It is really frustrating! 

 

So I've not really been coping well without him. I was so used to us talking every day. I feel like we really connected and I hate how this has affected me, feeling so vulnerable. I hate feeling this way. I love my daddy and I know he loves me too and I'm scared that he won't come back. I just know that I won't find another with the same connection as us and I don't really want to (this is not my first daddy btw, he is my second). 

 

The reasonable and rational part of me says that maybe something could have happened with his grandmother or his anxiety/depression has been triggered. If so, I just wish he could have told me, I would've understood and given him space. We always said we would be open and honest with each other. But then I also think what if he's really hurt or something could have happened to him! Or what if he has forgotten about me?! What if he doesn't come back?! I just feel so lost and I don't know what to do. I can't really talk about it with people around me and then I found this. I'm hoping maybe this will help or maybe I'm just overreacting... Do you think he will come back? I really hope my daddy comes back to me...

 

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Anyways, whoever is reading this I really appreciate it, thank you. 

 

PiPxx

Edited by PrettyinPinkxx22
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I would definitely hear him out if he does message you again, cause we all know that extenuating circumstances exist, but I do feel as though you need to be careful to protect yourself too. Hopefully all is well in the end and he is simply going through something right now. But everyone understands if you can’t wait forever when someone stops without warning.

My suggestion is to hang around on the forum for a while. Explore some other parts of the community and maybe make some friends. You don’t need to let go quite yet but there is also no reason for you to let this consume you. Chatting with others on here and reading through topics can be really helpful sometimes.

Hope this helped some. Good luck!

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I agree with ScarletBaby, sometimes things happen and it's really hard to reach out when we are very low. I personally have this bad habit, and even when I realize I'm doing it sometimes it's so hard to overcome it and deal with it in a better way (ex: just saying I need a few days, etc). I do hope that everything is alright with him and that you two are reunited soon, maybe busy yourself a bit to keep your mind from going too deep into worry & upset. Whatever you decide to do, we are here for you, and most people in this community are really amazing & supportive, so don't hesitate to reach out. 

 

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12 hours ago, ScarletBaby said:

I would definitely hear him out if he does message you again, cause we all know that extenuating circumstances exist, but I do feel as though you need to be careful to protect yourself too. Hopefully all is well in the end and he is simply going through something right now. But everyone understands if you can’t wait forever when someone stops without warning.

My suggestion is to hang around on the forum for a while. Explore some other parts of the community and maybe make some friends. You don’t need to let go quite yet but there is also no reason for you to let this consume you. Chatting with others on here and reading through topics can be really helpful sometimes.

Hope this helped some. Good luck!

I really appreciate your response, thank you. I’m really glad I found this forum, it is helping me get through it :) x

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12 hours ago, WigglyBun said:

I agree with ScarletBaby, sometimes things happen and it's really hard to reach out when we are very low. I personally have this bad habit, and even when I realize I'm doing it sometimes it's so hard to overcome it and deal with it in a better way (ex: just saying I need a few days, etc). I do hope that everything is alright with him and that you two are reunited soon, maybe busy yourself a bit to keep your mind from going too deep into worry & upset. Whatever you decide to do, we are here for you, and most people in this community are really amazing & supportive, so don't hesitate to reach out. 

 

Thank you! I just really miss the connection we had. I think I’ll be ok though, this community is really amazing, it’s nice that there’s like minded people out there x

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9 hours ago, Ion1234 said:

I am always up for chat.

Thank you, I’ve followed you

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From a Daddy's point of view, don't disregard your feelings.  Own them , and treat them as valid.. in other words, you're totally in the right to feel as you were or are.  Do your feelings tell the whole story?  Of course they don't.  None of our feelings do.  But it doesn't mean you should deny yourself of what YOU are going through in this.  

  • The first thing?  Take a deep breath!  Then, as best as  you can, let go of what you don't know.  You have to release the elements with your situation that you have no control of.  Like, his reasons for not reaching out to you.  FOCUS on where you are as a Little, what is in your best interest (your world and what requires your attention at this time, whether job or responsibilities, etc.. ) , and wish the best for your Daddy.  The bottom line is, in those times you don't have your Daddy?? All you have is YOU... and those are times when a Little needs to be an Adult, lol.. We all hate it, but it is the way of this reality.  

You DO have this platform and others that care and share... and the fact you've reached out says a lot.  I hope with the input and responses, you find your 'Center". 

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42 minutes ago, ZenDaddy said:

From a Daddy's point of view, don't disregard your feelings.  Own them , and treat them as valid.. in other words, you're totally in the right to feel as you were or are.  Do your feelings tell the whole story?  Of course they don't.  None of our feelings do.  But it doesn't mean you should deny yourself of what YOU are going through in this.  

  • The first thing?  Take a deep breath!  Then, as best as  you can, let go of what you don't know.  You have to release the elements with your situation that you have no control of.  Like, his reasons for not reaching out to you.  FOCUS on where you are as a Little, what is in your best interest (your world and what requires your attention at this time, whether job or responsibilities, etc.. ) , and wish the best for your Daddy.  The bottom line is, in those times you don't have your Daddy?? All you have is YOU... and those are times when a Little needs to be an Adult, lol.. We all hate it, but it is the way of this reality.  

You DO have this platform and others that care and share... and the fact you've reached out says a lot.  I hope with the input and responses, you find your 'Center". 

Thank you so much for your response. I think I’m doing ok so far compared to last week lol. It’s going to take some time but I’ll get there. This platform has been really helpful x

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I'm sorry you're going through this. Whether it's ghosting or not, the length of time without a single bit of communication would make most people worry and hurt. I think in this case you need to establish some boundaries for yourself and plan out what you want to say if he comes back.

What I mean by establishing boundaries is I think you need to give yourself a time limit on how long you're willing to wait and try to stick to that. Remember your feelings are important and so is your time, so don't allow yourself to waste too much time waiting on him because there is a chance he won't be coming back. Remember that this is not your fault, whatever he has chosen is on him and shows a lack of respect especially if he does not return.

As for planning what you want to say, I think you need to listen to what he has to say and also express that the distance and time apart was hurtful and confusing. Even if he is going through something very difficult right now, I really think he should be able to give you 10 seconds to let you know that he is dealing with something difficult and that he will be away for a while but plans to return. I understand it's hard to communicate when things are difficult but it seems unlikely he isn't speaking to other people in his life right now (family, friends, co-workers, clients, etc), so it doesn't make sense to me that you get the short end of the stick and don't even get a heads up at the very least. If you're going to be partners then you should be the one person he can lean on and talk to, and at the very least show you the respect and consideration you deserve as someone he claimed was important in his life (I'm assuming since you said you both love each other).

At the end of the day, give yourself some consideration and remember you are valuable and so is your time. If someone cannot respect that, especially when you have shown them the respect you want in return, then perhaps think about moving on or at least setting boundaries and rules that apply to both of you when he returns.

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2 hours ago, Vampiress said:

I'm sorry you're going through this. Whether it's ghosting or not, the length of time without a single bit of communication would make most people worry and hurt. I think in this case you need to establish some boundaries for yourself and plan out what you want to say if he comes back.

What I mean by establishing boundaries is I think you need to give yourself a time limit on how long you're willing to wait and try to stick to that. Remember your feelings are important and so is your time, so don't allow yourself to waste too much time waiting on him because there is a chance he won't be coming back. Remember that this is not your fault, whatever he has chosen is on him and shows a lack of respect especially if he does not return.

As for planning what you want to say, I think you need to listen to what he has to say and also express that the distance and time apart was hurtful and confusing. Even if he is going through something very difficult right now, I really think he should be able to give you 10 seconds to let you know that he is dealing with something difficult and that he will be away for a while but plans to return. I understand it's hard to communicate when things are difficult but it seems unlikely he isn't speaking to other people in his life right now (family, friends, co-workers, clients, etc), so it doesn't make sense to me that you get the short end of the stick and don't even get a heads up at the very least. If you're going to be partners then you should be the one person he can lean on and talk to, and at the very least show you the respect and consideration you deserve as someone he claimed was important in his life (I'm assuming since you said you both love each other).

At the end of the day, give yourself some consideration and remember you are valuable and so is your time. If someone cannot respect that, especially when you have shown them the respect you want in return, then perhaps think about moving on or at least setting boundaries and rules that apply to both of you when he returns.

Thank you so much! ❤️ This has been really helpful 😭 I feel so hurt but I know that I do need to think about setting myself a time limit as to how long I will wait 💔 x

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You've been given some really good advice by previous posters.  Give yourself some time to breathe and take care of yourself.  Hang out on the Forum and read some topics that may help you with how to cope without him right now.  Use the chat to talk to some other littles.  I agree with ZenDaddy; you need to take care of yourself.  I really hope you are alright today and have an enjoyable weekend.

Best,

Harlee

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Posted (edited)

*Update*

So a few days ago I was feeling hopeful that I would get a message from him. All my messages on the Kik app now say D which means it has been delivered although unread. Sadly still no response from him… 💔

Edited by PrettyinPinkxx22
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4 hours ago, Harlee-qwinnie said:

You've been given some really good advice by previous posters.  Give yourself some time to breathe and take care of yourself.  Hang out on the Forum and read some topics that may help you with how to cope without him right now.  Use the chat to talk to some other littles.  I agree with ZenDaddy; you need to take care of yourself.  I really hope you are alright today and have an enjoyable weekend.

Best,

Harlee

I really hope I can move on from this 😭

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If this was me I would  take time  to step back  talk to others and figure out what's best for me. time is valuable this sounds like an unfortunate situation for everyone involved.

I hope  everything works out  and it was just  miscommunication.

Keep your head up!

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44 minutes ago, despairing said:

If this was me I would  take time  to step back  talk to others and figure out what's best for me. time is valuable this sounds like an unfortunate situation for everyone involved.

I hope  everything works out  and it was just  miscommunication.

Keep your head up!

Thank you for the support! x

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I'm so sorry you're being put through this. I can completely understand on his part if he is going through something right now, especially with the health of a family member. It could have triggered his mental health. Sometimes people need space to figure things out and find themselves again.

However, disappearing on someone is not appropriate. Having someone go radio silent even just for a few hours always gets my anxiety going cause I never know if something is wrong. He should have at least let you know he was going to need a few days and then check in with you periodically. That would have been the polite and respectful thing but again grief can really shatter a person with no warning.

Have you tried to send new messages to check on him? I apologize if I missed your saying that you have somewhere in this thread. If you haven't yet reached out with a quick message to check on him you should do so. He may be so wrapped up emotionally in family that he hasn't been on his phone at all. I know if my gma passed away I would be devastated and wouldn't know what to do with myself. Being on my phone is the last thing I would be thinking about.

I also agree with everyone else to take this time to work on yourself. Take everything he has helped you with and better understand you wants and needs as a little as well as in general. Set your boundaries for all things relationship wise, not just time taken to respond, but everything that is important to you. talk with him about everything when he comes back.

I personally know the feelings you must be going through. Don't lose hope just yet.

I am truly hoping for the best for you in this situation.

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3 hours ago, Libradaddy1980 said:

I'm so sorry you're being put through this. I can completely understand on his part if he is going through something right now, especially with the health of a family member. It could have triggered his mental health. Sometimes people need space to figure things out and find themselves again.

However, disappearing on someone is not appropriate. Having someone go radio silent even just for a few hours always gets my anxiety going cause I never know if something is wrong. He should have at least let you know he was going to need a few days and then check in with you periodically. That would have been the polite and respectful thing but again grief can really shatter a person with no warning.

Have you tried to send new messages to check on him? I apologize if I missed your saying that you have somewhere in this thread. If you haven't yet reached out with a quick message to check on him you should do so. He may be so wrapped up emotionally in family that he hasn't been on his phone at all. I know if my gma passed away I would be devastated and wouldn't know what to do with myself. Being on my phone is the last thing I would be thinking about.

I also agree with everyone else to take this time to work on yourself. Take everything he has helped you with and better understand you wants and needs as a little as well as in general. Set your boundaries for all things relationship wise, not just time taken to respond, but everything that is important to you. talk with him about everything when he comes back.

I personally know the feelings you must be going through. Don't lose hope just yet.

I am truly hoping for the best for you in this situation.

We only communicate via Kik and I have messaged him every other day but I get an automated reply that his phone is off/disconnected. It will be 3 weeks tomorrow and it is very frustrating not knowing and it really hurts because I trusted him and never would’ve expected he would do this to me 😭

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Oh I am just so so so sorry, Pretty. 😞😞😞😞😞 I truly am. I really wish I could give you a hug and also my teddy to cuddle, I really do. I am so sorry and I know the heartache that comes with something like this. I think many of us do, Daddies and littles alike. 
 

If he has truly just ghosted you after developing that sort of relationship with you - then that is awful. It’s selfish and inconsiderate on his part. You did not deserve to have your heart toyed with in that way. 
 

I will be thinking of you and please message me if you need a hug or a teddy bear. 💝💝💝💝💝

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One more thing i will say… I have found my Daddy, but the search was very difficult. I went through throngs of married men, cheating men, fake Daddies, or just people looking for a distraction or quick thrill.  At times, I thought I had CERTAINLY found my Daddy, only for it to not be so.  Many of these men were just deeply unhappy in their relationships and looking for someone to make them feel good for once - but that is no excuse.  
 

The search is difficult. I truly hope it works out for you and him. But the important thing To remember is that there IS a special Daddy for you, Pretty. I am thinking of you. 💕💕💕💕💕

Edited by LittleLavenderGirl
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Because we exist in the realm of 'personal definition'.., in other words, there is no ONE definition to a DD, or a LG / Sub.  Define what it is you are and are looking for, THEN find those that match your preferences and hold to your standards.  The Vanilla world really operates in no less a fashion.  The trick is, holding true to your standards and what you need and want, and not settling for anything less.  When we settle, we open the door for 'chaos' and potential regrets.  Does refusal to 'settle' sometimes mean we fly solo for longer than we'd like?? Maybe... but, what's more important?   Having someone to fill the void?? OR maintaining serenity and sanity, until finding someone that matches our requirements.  Yes, you may have to wait longer, and maybe your expectations are unrealistic.  BUT, what's your serenity worth?  These are questions that are as unique as WE are... AND there's no One Size Fits All.  

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1 hour ago, ZenDaddy said:

Because we exist in the realm of 'personal definition'.., in other words, there is no ONE definition to a DD, or a LG / Sub.  Define what it is you are and are looking for, THEN find those that match your preferences and hold to your standards.  The Vanilla world really operates in no less a fashion.  The trick is, holding true to your standards and what you need and want, and not settling for anything less.  When we settle, we open the door for 'chaos' and potential regrets.  Does refusal to 'settle' sometimes mean we fly solo for longer than we'd like?? Maybe... but, what's more important?   Having someone to fill the void?? OR maintaining serenity and sanity, until finding someone that matches our requirements.  Yes, you may have to wait longer, and maybe your expectations are unrealistic.  BUT, what's your serenity worth?  These are questions that are as unique as WE are... AND there's no One Size Fits All.  

I live by this… I refuse to settle! x

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An update to my own Letting Go, it's been weeks since I let my Little Girl go.  I had severed all contact, mostly for my own mental state and to work on my process.  This morning I received an email from her, very well written and understanding of why I could no longer remain her Daddy and Dom.  I responded in kind, but made it clear I could not promise how much interaction I would have with her, as it's important for us both to move on and forward.  I continue to wish her well, and hope she gets the help she needs, and remain optimistic of finding my match and Little Girl... someday, lol.. ;)  (I'm enjoying a chaos free life for now.)

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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

*Update*

I just wanted to tell everyone that my daddy messaged me yesterday. I felt all sorts of emotions. As I suspected, his grandmother had passed away which led to him having a breakdown and going away to a retreat. He was advised to go offline. He is home now and working on getting things back to normal. He explained all this and apologised profusely for the way he treated me and hurt me. We talked things out and set some rules for us, some even identified by his psychologist but I think it is a good idea so as to protect the both of us. We’re working on moving forward together and hopefully things will be better and make us stronger than ever.

I genuinely do love being a part of this community. Thank you so much for all the guidance and support you’ve given me for the last month, I truly appreciate you all! ❤️ 

PiPxx

Edited by PrettyinPinkxx22
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  • PrettyinPinkxx22 changed the title to Letting go?… *UPDATE*

Of course this is great news, PiP.. understandably, there will be some that will be cautious skeptics and for all the right reasons.  The main thing for YOU is to put certain and specific boundaries in place, so that it's understood that YOU'RE a part of this too, and a note even a word or two from him would have been able to have kept YOU from spiraling as you did, again understandably so.  

That said, Congratulations to you... be careful Little Girl, but if you're cautious then I am happy for you. 🤗🌹🙏

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