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New CG having second thoughts? Need help!


Albino
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Hi Albino here, I'm new to this care giver thing, like a week new, I told my girlfriend that I would try it with her and already she talking about wanting a collar and she's always calling me daddy. She refuses to say my real name now, even in public with my friends or hers she'd rather tug on my shirt then say my name. And she's always being a 'little' now? I like her very much and I want to make this work we've been together for a few months but it's only been a week with this DD/lg thing and everything has changed from how we talk, to how we hang out, how she reacts to me. I just don't know how to confront her about this without upsetting her, I'm okay with the little thing and being called daddy but not 24/7, and I don't know if that's how this care giver this works?

 

Are littlest like this 24/7 or is it just a time/place and or mood? Because I like her but I don't think I can do this all the time. And I want to be with her and make her happy and fine a way to work things out but I guess I need to understand more about this whole thing, and how it works.

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Okay time out

 

1. Yes there is a 24/7 dynamic to this but only when the pair are living together, fully trusting, and when limits and boundiers are set

 

2. No you do not just jump into this as a 24/7 thing after a week I said this once I'll say it again and again all relationships should start vinilla and not BDSM you have only known this girl for a week that is not long enough to fourm a foundation for a basic relationship for your DD/lg one to stand on.

 

3. Talk with her, tell her your limits, boundiers, and what you want and don't want explain that she is coming on to strong to soon

 

4. Drop being "CG/l" till you've been together for at least seven months. in the mean time go back to a vinalla relationship and take your time to learn about the dynamic its not fair to you or her that after one week she is calling you "Daddy" think of it this way: would you be okay with her calling you her husband at this point in the relationship? the title Daddy should be treated with the same respect of that as husband would

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Some littles are little 24/7, and that's what they are wanting and needing. It can be tiring and a bit of an overload. I don't know if you've known about this dynamic before you started, but you've been doing this a week. Did you guys even talk about how this would affect your relationship or what your boundaries are? It doesn't sound like you did, but that's not the end of the world or anything. You need to sit down and talk with her about this, and tell her what your needs are. This kind of relationship isn't all about the little taking and the caregiver giving. There have to be limits, whether it's time or locations or whatever.

 

Have you done a lot of research on this? The forum is full with information and links to blogs and more information about being a big, and about being a little. This isn't a light thing to get into that's just going to be "fun" for a while. It's a true, long-term dynamic. For many, it can be life-long.

 

Best advice I can give you is to communicate with your partner.

 

And welcome to the forum, and the life of being a daddy.

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4. Drop being "CG/l" till you've been together for at least seven months.

We were unofficially together in January and as of October we were officially dating, it's just the CG and little thing has only been a week, I'm really sorry for not being specific on that!

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We were unofficially together in January and as of October we were officially dating, it's just the CG and little thing has only been a week, I'm really sorry for not being specific on that!

 ohhhhhh oops, I still say wait till you've been ofically dating for seven months before throwing CG/l into the mix and research in the mean time

sorry but "unoffically" doesn't mean much eaither you were dating or you were not there is no in between and it still takes seven months for the honeymoon phase infatiation wheres off so wait a bit and research and ask this fourm questions and get to know what the dynamic intales

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Guest buddhagirl

Albino, use your words. Tell her how you're feeling and that you need to ease into it more. Tell her you want to make her happy and you care about her, but you need some boundaries around it. Hopefully she'll care about what you need as much as you seem to care about her needs.

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COMMUNICATION!!!

 

Communication is the cornerstone of ANY relationship...but even more so with DD/lg. You two need to sit down and talk about this HONESTLY. She has clearly said that SHE wanted this dynamic, SHE wants to call you Daddy...SHE wants XXXXX. Tell her what YOU want. Tell her exactly how YOU feel and what you are comfortable with as far as this dynamic goes. There is no sense forcing yourself into something that you are not completely comfortable with just to make her happy, because it will just make you miserable and cause loads of problems down the line.

 

So, hammer out the details and come to a compromise that you both fully agree to. There is nothing wrong with limiting the DD/lg stuff to only when you two are alone for you, until you are comfortable branching out (if ever). She needs to understand that while she has probably been thinking about and researching this lifestyle for a long time...it is brand new to you and you will need time to ease into it.

 

There is nothing wrong with that and will improve the quality of you relationship in the long run versus being forced to jump into it feet first all at once.

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I agree with everyones comments and advice! Communication is totally the key to this being great or really bad. I would say just sit down and be totally open in how you feel. Also just lay it all out on the table and let her tell you what she is wanting and needing from you and what you are able to truly give her back in return. If you are uncomfortable about the CG aspect of it then let her know. None of it will work out if you are not ready and able to give her what she needs and wants and vise versa. Just be open to hearing her out and her hearing you out and then you guys can then figure out what is best for both of you. Hope you guys are able to work through this but plain and simple just communicate and listen is the key! Hope my two cents helps you out in some way! :)

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Definitely be open to adult conversation (and tell her before and during that that's what you're having, an adult conversation with no headspaces!) but remember, if you're not comfortable with this, it is okay to stop. Don't feel you have to be forced into what is a fairly intense dynamic if it's not your cup of tea.

Best of luck :)

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Guest MyDaddyMyWorld

She may identify as a little, but she is still (hopefully) first and foremost an adult. I think that gets forgotten a lot of times in this kind of thing.

Never do something you are not happy with for fear of upsetting the other person. Your needs are no less important than hers.

Tell her how you feel, one adult to another. And if this really is something you do not like, or feel pressured into doing, you both need to accept its not working. Its only been a few months. You will both handle it.

If you are not compatible, thats all there is to it.

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Guest Daddy's☆treasure

Communication like most here have already said, is of the utmost importance. It seems to me that she's hit the fast forward button and things are clearly going way too fast! If you don't feel comfortable with this being 24/7 (and yes, there are a lot of people who have a 24/7 DD/lg relationship), talk to her when you feel she is in a lesser 'little' space. It's best when she is her most mature self so there isn't any misunderstandings about what is being discussed. You need to tell her what you've told us and just explain how you really feel. Honesty, is also very important in a relationship.

 

Another thing is please do your research. Try to learn as much as you can about this dynamic so you may have a greater understanding of both roles and it may also help to shed some light on your current situation.

 

Talk to her, tell her everything that's on your mind and I hope you two can work something out that is more suited to both of you at this time.

 

:)

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