Needing some Guidance

[MissAnna]

I have been sitting with a lot of thoughts lately, and there is one question that keeps coming back to me.

What happens when you can’t seem to reach your little or middle side anymore? What happens when something that once felt like such a big part of you suddenly feels distant?

But maybe the bigger question is this...

Was I ever truly a little or middle in the first place?

That is where I am right now. I feel like I’m standing at a crossroads, trying to understand myself and where I fit within the BDSM community.

When I first found this community, I found a place where I could explore parts of myself that I didn’t always know how to express. I found people who understood the importance of trust, connection, vulnerability, and the different ways we experience ourselves and our relationships.

For a long time, I thought I knew who I was. I thought I understood my place. I thought those labels described me and helped me feel like I belonged.

But people change. Life changes. Sometimes we go through things that make us look at ourselves differently.

And that is where I am now.

I’m trying to find my Dom voice again while also being honest with myself about the fact that maybe I was never truly a little or middle. Maybe those were parts of me I explored, parts of me that I connected with at the time, but maybe they weren’t the full picture of who I am.

I won’t lie, I don’t feel submissive anymore.

Maybe I’m not losing a part of myself. Maybe I’m finding a part of myself that I haven’t allowed to have a voice.

Finding my Dom side again feels less like becoming someone new and more like reconnecting with something that has always been there. It feels like learning to trust my own instincts and stop trying to force myself into a place that no longer feels natural.

The hardest part about growth is that it can be confusing. It can leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about yourself. But I’m starting to believe that questioning ourselves doesn’t mean we are lost. Sometimes it means we are finally being honest.

I don’t have all the answers right now. I’m still figuring things out. I’m still learning about myself and where I belong.

But I know I want to be authentic. I want to embrace who I am instead of trying to fit into a box because I feel like I’m supposed to.

I believe this community is about exploration, acceptance, and finding the courage to be honest about who we are. Sometimes that journey takes us somewhere unexpected.

So I’m sharing this because maybe someone else has felt this way too. Maybe someone else has questioned their identity or wondered if the role they once connected with still fits them.

If anyone has been through something similar, or if anyone has advice, thoughts, or suggestions, please let me know. I would truly appreciate hearing your experiences and learning from this amazing community.

[innerchildtml]

@MissAnna

First of all hugs. You have been through so much recently. 

As some one who is assertive in their big life, most people I know have seen "silly" me,  but would be shocked to find out Im a middle/little. 

I think two things can be true at the same time and on most days and good days, I can be all things in quick succession. 

I think our inner selves come out when we need them. At this time, maybe you need dom you and not little you. 

Its okay to be a switch and have two sides to the coin. If you were happy and co tent exploring the space, and currently feel no need for it. That is okay. It doesnt mean you were never submissive, but that you have either grown or do not need that.

No matter which side or sides you choose, you will always be part of the community and we love you.

[MissAnna]

5 minutes ago, innerchildtml said:

@MissAnna

First of all hugs. You have been through so much recently. 

As some one who is assertive in their big life, most people I know have seen "silly" me,  but would be shocked to find out Im a middle/little. 

I think two things can be true at the same time and on most days and good days, I can be all things in quick succession. 

I think our inner selves come out when we need them. At this time, maybe you need dom you and not little you. 

Its okay to be a switch and have two sides to the coin. If you were happy and co tent exploring the space, and currently feel no need for it. That is okay. It doesnt mean you were never submissive, but that you have either grown or do not need that.

No matter which side or sides you choose, you will always be part of the community and we love you.

First, I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to respond to me. I won’t lie, your words touched me more than you probably realize. Sometimes a few kind words from the right person can reach places in us that we didn’t even know were hurting.

You’re right, I think I do need to find my Dom side again. I think a part of me has been quiet for a while, and with everything I’ve been through, I’ve lost sight of the strong woman she is. Right now, I feel a little lost, and I think I need that part of myself to remind me who I am. She’s still there, I know she is. She’s been gently tapping on my shoulder, reminding me that I can still be strong, that I can still lead, and that it’s okay to trust myself again and let her take the reins.

I truly think it’s beautiful that you are a little/middle. One of the things I love most about this community is that we all have different parts of ourselves, and there is room for every single one of them. Whether someone finds comfort in their Dom side, their little/middle side, or simply in being themselves, I think there is something really special about finding that place where your heart feels at home.

As for what I’ve been through, well, it has been one heck of a journey. Life has thrown some storms my way that I never expected, but I’ve always believed that the hardest seasons of our lives can teach us the greatest lessons. They may bend us, they may leave us searching for pieces of ourselves, but they can also show us just how strong we truly are.

Each day I’m getting a little stronger. I’m learning how to find my footing again and how to stand on my own two feet. My memories still haven’t completely come back, and that has been a difficult road because there are pieces of myself I’m still trying to rediscover. But I’m learning to be patient with myself. I’m learning that healing doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s okay to take things one day at a time.

I’m still finding my way. I’m still learning who I am in this new chapter of my life. But I’m grateful to have a community where I can be honest, vulnerable, and accepted. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone on this journey. Sometimes we all need a little help finding our way back home to ourselves.