alotalittle Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 I'll start by giving a little bit of history (and I'll try not to get too longwinded): My partner and I have been together for three and a half years and we are engaged and love each other very much. You might even see me referencing him and our relationship in a lot of the responses/replies that I give on here. Keep in mind that my partner and I both identify as switches these days and actively participate in being each other's Dom and sub. Neither of us wish to change that. For the first year and a half of our relationship we had a DDlg dynamic. When we first started getting into the dynamic, our conversations were very in-depth and he seemed extremely interested in it. However, we were long distance at the time, and once we moved in together, it appeared that he wasn't quite as interested in it as I thought. Our dynamic was fun and I enjoyed it; it certainly "took the edge off" when it came to my little tendencies. Our relationship began struggling a bit, and we had to work through a lot of things. During this time period, I asked that we no longer do the DDlg dynamic because I felt that it was preventing us from working through things. I needed to be in my adult head space full time and I don't regret that at all. I joined this site to help me get back in touch with my little self (you can see some of my previous postings for more information about that if you wish). I've brought up my little side to my partner many times starting about six months ago, but I always feel like the conversation isn't productive. He offers things to help me, but they're never things that I feel solve the problem. I don't want to bring the dynamic back into our relationship when 1. it's not something he really enjoys and 2. I think it'll eventually cause problems in the relationship. I decided several months ago to drop the issue altogether. I recognize that my little side doesn't fit into my life or his very well and I'm mostly fine with taking care of my little side on my own when I get the chance to do so. Fast forward to now: My partner brought up my little side the other night very straightforwardly (it honestly startled me). We haven't discussed it in months. We were getting ready to fool around (me being Dom and him sub), so I was really caught off-guard. He basically asked me if I was still thinking about it (and I answered honestly, saying yes, I thought about it often), and he asked me what I thought about. I stammered and struggled to get some broken answers out saying what I thought about, only telling the bare minimum. He told me that he wasn't sure why I struggled with it so much since we had the dynamic before and it wasn't a big deal. I told him that we hadn't gone that deep into the dynamic and that I really hadn't ever shown him my full little side. This surprised him, and he started asking a few more questions, but I was so overwhelmed that we stopped. He said we should talk more about it later and then we went about our evening. This was about two weeks ago and he hasn't brought it up again. I don't really want to bring it up again because, like I said before, I don't think there's any real solutions. I don't want him to participate in a dynamic that he doesn't really like just because I like it. Him tolerating my little side isn't what I want. But I have a feeling that this won't all go away, and he'll bring it up again. I don't know how to communicate about it. I love our relationship. I love him. I love our Dom/sub dynamics. I love our life together. I just don't think that my little side fits into all that anymore, and I'm learning how to be okay with that. When he brings up my little side again, how can I properly explain all that? Normally, I'm so much better at communicating than this, but when my little side gets brought up, I start shutting down. Mostly, I just want some tips how to prevent myself from shutting down, how to communicate my feelings in a way that's less likely to hurt him/put pressure on him, and possibly, how to tell him more details about my little side (because I know he's somewhat curious) without implying that I want him to be my CG? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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