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I'm not that into ddlg? I just want to feel protected? ~new here~


asimov

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Hello, I am new here. I am just trying to find my place in life, etc. etc.

 

I'm new to this community of ddlg. Like I always felt this feeling of submission (??idk how to describe it) inside of me, but I didn't know until recently that ddlg existed.

 

Can someone tell me what I am feeling? And if this still qualifies as ddlg?

 

I've never dated anyone, like nothing. Not that I want to, I just am not ready to take on that endeavor in my life. I guess I've always been attracted to guys that were older than me for some underlying reason, but idk.

 

I just feel like someone older can protect me, save me, etc. because they've already been my age and have gone through experiences I have not yet been through.

 

Like, I enjoy being treated like a baby (not like an adult baby, but just being looked after, etc.), but not in a kink way. It's just my personality. I like it if/when older people refer to me as a 'kid' or tell me to wait before I'm allowed to do something.

 

Just like how you're watchful over children to make sure they don't hurt themselves and you guide them in life, comfort them when they cry, are always there to hold their hand because you know they can't be left alone. That's how I like/want to be treated.

 

I feel like this might come from actual parental issues? I never have had a good or close relationship with my father, so maybe that's why I look for protective qualities in older guys? I don't understand.

 

And also, if this does qualify as ddlg, do these type of relationships exist? You know, minus the bdsm aspect?

 

I'm not a baby that can't do anything for herself, I'm just a girl who wants someone to be next to her who she can look to for protection when she's scared.

 

This was so embarrassing to write and if you read the whole thing, thank you so much.

Edited by asimov
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So, I'm not 100% sure what would work for you, but I'm going to do my best to help.

 

CGl does not need to be sexual. My little and I are not sexual when she is little, and I know of a few other cgl couples that are not sexual at all, that is possible. However, cgl is bdsm because of the fact that it is considered a kink as well as the power exchange aspect of it. You don't need to incorporate any of the other things that fall under the bdsm umbrella to do cgl, but its still technically considered a bdsm type of relationship. 

 

If this is because of parental issues, you may want to make sure that you're not getting into this as an alternative to dealing with that. You can still be into cgl if you have parental issues, but you do not want to use cgl as your primary way to deal or cope with it, because that can cause some toxic situations.

 

Other than that I'd just suggest reading around the threads, you can go to the non-sexual little thread and talk to some people there. Interact, ask questions and learn more because that can help you figure out what kind of relationship you want, or if cgl works for you, etc.

 

Best of luck!

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Hello,

First, I would like you to know that feelings are just feelings, they don't have to have a reason or to be understood. So don't try to understand it, instead try to evolve and learn from it

 

Second, it appears from the way you describe your feelings and what you like from older people to treat you that you have a strong submissive and LG potential there.

 

Third, yes, they do exist :) 

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I think you received some good advice from KittenLovesMe.  Non-sexual CGI relationships do exist and if you are determined to be in a ddlg relationship, I would begin there.  Respectfully I disagree that one should not try to understand what is behind one's feelings.  We should "try to evolve and learn from it," but I think one of the best ways to do that is to (if possible) determine the root from which the feelings grow.  

 

I was one with a less than wonderful relationship with my real life father.  There was a great deal missing there that should have been there.  As such there was a decent amount of stuff I struggled with in life.  It's okay.  It's ultimately made me a better person for the struggles.  I believe the absence (or abuse) of a father has even deeper effects in the life a young lady who grows up in such an environment.  I've personally witnessed it in the lives of my sisters.  One resource that I've found most helpful to me and several of my other friends in dealing with "less than wonderful relationship with ones real life father" is the book "The Blessing" by John Trent and Gary Smalley.  I just looked it up - you can get a paperback copy on line for two bucks from Barnes & Noble and several other sources.

 

I wish you great success on your journey of discovery.  

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asimov, yes those relationships exist.

 

Yes, they are considered DD/lg relationships by people who are in the lifestyle even if it doesn't include kinky sexual stuff... vanilla people usually label it as an old fashioned relationship. Think 50's house hold with very defined gender roles where the man provides and protects while the wife dedicates her life to her family. Some people might even try to make you uncomfortable saying that is not a healthy type of relationship because you are codependent and you need to be strong and independent and blah blah blah.

 

As long as it works for you and there is no abuse going on then it's a good relationship in my book and nothing to be ashamed of.

 

There are people who need pain (masochists) and some people who are into humiliation, you can have that without physical or emotional abuse if you have respect for each other, talk things out and agree on the terms and limits. Since you don't seem to be into this it should be fairly easy for you to find what you want.

 

I was like you and I am now happily married, before that I had a couple of very enjoyable relationships with older guys but one day a guy showed up who was a year younger than me and was more mature, reliable, caring and understanding than anyone I have ever met. So don't get too hang up on the age gap, the answer is in the right mix of personality and maturity. You don't have to call them daddy or pretend to be a baby, just be honest with yourself and with the guy, hopefully he will be too.

 

For the record, I am specifically a "middle" which is a type of little that identifies more with a tween than a baby or toddler. I am sweet, playful and can be silly, I have my bratty moments. I enjoy watching anime and playing video games as well as fashion and beauty. I love being spoiled by Daddy and I am always trying my hardest to please him, I feel a bit lost without his guidance but I manage ok if I have to do stuff on my own. I don't really have a little space I go in and out of even though I have my cute moments.

 

Sorry for the book, hope this helps!

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there is 100% sfw dd/lg, and there is even platonic dd/g. if you would like a dom in a non sexual way, just make that clear to whoever you wish to be your dom. you can say something like "hey i think im into a non sexual cgl type thing and i really want someone to care for me who has had these experiences. how do you feel about that?" and then just see how it goes. if you need help findng a cg (im getting the vibe that you like cgl more than ddlg since it doesnt have the kink aspect per se) then you could always put up a forum in Personals describing what you would like

hope this helped

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