Babysitter?

[trvppydxddy]

So I'm a daddy dom and I've been in a relationship with my little for about 7 and a half months now. We're in an ldr and I have to put my phone up at 10 every night for reasons out of my control. She's recently introduced bringing a babysitter into the equation for after I have to go so she doesn't have to be by herself (note that her bed time is 11 so she's only alone for an hour anyways and that I don't talk to anyone else either, but she does have other littles to talk to that are her friends she just says she feels like she annoys them and they don't want to be her friend). I'm kind of insecure about the idea because she's my little girl and I'm scared that if someone is there for her when I'm not or can't be, she'll develop a bond with them and maybe eventually start to develop an attraction and it could lead to bad roads. I've made a lot of sacrifices for her and sometimes I feel like she's not willing to do the same for me. For instance, I just asked her a few weeks ago if she would be okay with me being a platonic caregiver to another little (which is exactly like a babysitter) and she said no because she only wanted me to take care of her. I was fine with it and dropped it because I love her and at the end of the day I just want her to be happy, but it doesn't make any sense to me why she would ask to do something that she wouldn't be okay with me doing the equivalent of. Am I doing the right thing by telling her I don't want her to have one or should I just give in and try to get over it? I haven't had a lot of experience with this stuff as this is my first cg/l relationship so I'm really stuck in what to do. Please help me, I would appreciate it so much. 

 

If you're a little you could tell me what you would like your caregiver to do in the situation or if you're a daddy you could tell me what you would do or whatever anything helps.

 

Thanks!

[Guest aphroditelaughs]

I think it's really good that you asked her if she'd be comfortable with the equivalent. I also think it's important you stick to your guns - not because it isn't possible to have other relationships (platonic or not), but because you're not comfortable. We're all adults and that means understanding that partners can't be available at all hours. That also means being responsible for ourselves.

[Guest Zephy]

You can compromise, you would only agree to it if you are allowed to have a platonic relationship on the side as well. If she doesn't agree then you will have none of it. Never agree to something you are not okay with and stay true to yourself. Communicate and talk like adults!

[Guest AttentiveDaddy]

Don't give in. You sound really uncomfortable with the idea of it. I also can't understand why a little needs a babysitter for just one hour. If you weren't around for half the day or something it'd be a bit different

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

Apologies in advance for the essay

From my perspective as a needy clingy Little who's without her Daddy all day while he's at work-

I would want a babysitter, and don't consider it to be quite the same thing.

Because you're like... the giver, and she's the receiver?

So you're giving something of yourself to that person.

She's not giving them the things she gives you.

But you'd be giving them the things you give her, on some level.

 

But I am very clingy with my Daddy.

Like legitimately clingy.

When he first started working I'd sit at the window like a derpy puppy waiting for him to pull into the driveway.

It's been 6yrs together and I still get heartachy when he leaves for work in the morning lol

(e.g. I just totally got weepy cuz he's gonna be doin' that in about 14mins *dead inside*)

 

So if she is that infatuated with you- an hour feels like the longest most painful time EVER.

I guess it depends on her motives though, huh.

Like does she just want attention and to be care given (selfishly),

or is it because she misses you THAT much and needs the babysitter to help her cope til you geddup again.

 

I think I mighta just made everything more confusing. ^^" Sry.

I just know from times where my Daddy has been unable to Daddy me, I have severely wanted a babysitter/cg.

But that was because he was 'away' for more than just 1hr... And didn't know when he'd be back.

º______º and RN I need to go find my Daddy cuz sad.

 

Anyway you're doing good at Daddying by even considering it.

But don't do it if you're not comfortable with it.

If you feel like it's unbalanced, then it IS. And it shifts the dynamic between the two of you into uncomfortable places.

You don't wanna agree to it now, then be arguing bad about it in a couple of weeks.

 

Edit: I just ran into the kitchen to absorb as much time as possible (he was in the shower afore)

before he leaves and in my rush I walked rly hard into a kitchen cupboard door and banged my leg up. =_=

Edited January 10, 2018 by MarshmallowSnot

[trvppydxddy]

 

From my perspective as a needy clingy Little who's without her Daddy all day while he's at work-

 

I would want a babysitter, and don't consider it to be quite the same thing.

Because you're like... the giver, and she's the receiver?

So you're giving something of yourself to that person.

She's not giving them the things she gives you.

But you'd be giving them the things you give her, on some level.

 

But I am very clingy with my Daddy.

Like legitimately clingy.

When he first started working I'd sit at the window like a derpy puppy waiting for him to pull into the driveway.

It's been 6yrs together and I still get heartachy when he leaves for work in the morning lol

(e.g. I just totally got weepy cuz he's gonna be doin' that in about 14mins *dead inside*)

 

So if she is that infatuated with you- an hour feels like the longest most painful time EVER.

I guess it depends on her though motives, huh.

Like does she just want attention and to be care given (selfishly),

or is it because she misses you THAT much and needs the babysitter to help her cope til you geddup again.

 

I think I mighta just made everything more confusing. ^^" Sry.

I just know from times where my Daddy has been unable to Daddy me, I have severely wanted a babysitter/cg.

But that was because he was 'away' for more than just 1hr... And didn't know when he'd be back.

º______º and RN I need to go find my Daddy cuz sad.

 

Anyway you do good at Daddying by even considering it.

Thank you so much for your input! I can definitely see where you're coming from in the fact that it is a little different so that kinda adds more things to consider. Unfortunately, though, she says that she wants a babysitter when I'm gone because she wants someone to take care of her and for her to be able to talk to them. However, I know that she does miss me when I'm gone and she is super clingy (probably in part due to me talking to her all throughout the day except for that one hour) so that probably also has something to do with it. Also thanks for the compliment cause I really do try my best  And I hope your leg feels better and you're okay. You gotta slow down!

Edited January 10, 2018 by trvppydxddy

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

You're welcomes ^^"

And no problemo, you definitely seem like you're doing your best.

My knee is burny and throbbing atm, thenkyou lol

 

You could both work on teaching her to self-soothe.

You could record yourself reading stories or something for her to listen to when you're asleep or otherwise preoccupied.

Find ways to settle her antsy lil heart while you're busy/sleeping/whatever daddies do that isn't paying attention to us*sigh* lol

If you're still not 100% on board with her having a babysitter, but agree to it, and she doesn't agree to you being a sitter for someone else...

I'd suggest nobody delves into babysitting from either side.

Someone else will probably give some better insight. (^__^º)

 

Sry if I'm a bit muddled, I'm tired.  

http://gifon007.eu/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Mr.-Bean-Movie-Film-Celebrity-Gif.gif

 

 

 

Thank you so much for your input! I can definitely see where you're coming from in the fact that it is a little different so that kinda adds more things to consider. Unfortunately, though, she says that she wants a babysitter when I'm gone because she wants someone to take care of her and for her to be able to talk to them. However, I know that she does miss me when I'm gone and she is super clingy (probably in part due to me talking to her all throughout the day except for that one hour) so that probably also has something to do with it. Also thanks for the compliment cause I really do try my best  And I hope your leg feels better and you're okay. You gotta slow down!

 

Edited January 10, 2018 by MarshmallowSnot

[littlekia]

I honestly believe if its something platonic, and not at all sexual just to help her when you have to leave, I think its a good idea. I'm looking for the same, and I have a Daddy 

 

So I'm a daddy dom and I've been in a relationship with my little for about 7 and a half months now. We're in an ldr and I have to put my phone up at 10 every night for reasons out of my control. She's recently introduced bringing a babysitter into the equation for after I have to go so she doesn't have to be by herself (note that her bed time is 11 so she's only alone for an hour anyways and that I don't talk to anyone else either, but she does have other littles to talk to that are her friends she just says she feels like she annoys them and they don't want to be her friend). I'm kind of insecure about the idea because she's my little girl and I'm scared that if someone is there for her when I'm not or can't be, she'll develop a bond with them and maybe eventually start to develop an attraction and it could lead to bad roads. I've made a lot of sacrifices for her and sometimes I feel like she's not willing to do the same for me. For instance, I just asked her a few weeks ago if she would be okay with me being a platonic caregiver to another little (which is exactly like a babysitter) and she said no because she only wanted me to take care of her. I was fine with it and dropped it because I love her and at the end of the day I just want her to be happy, but it doesn't make any sense to me why she would ask to do something that she wouldn't be okay with me doing the equivalent of. Am I doing the right thing by telling her I don't want her to have one or should I just give in and try to get over it? I haven't had a lot of experience with this stuff as this is my first cg/l relationship so I'm really stuck in what to do. Please help me, I would appreciate it so much. 

 

If you're a little you could tell me what you would like your caregiver to do in the situation or if you're a daddy you could tell me what you would do or whatever anything helps.

 

Thanks!

[Lilkitten12]

If you aren’t comfortable with it than I wouldn’t allow it just to make her happy because by solving one problem (her loneliness) you will just create other problems.

 

If you can’t talk after ten and she can’t seem to handle that one hour maybe you could change her bedtime to ten? That way as you two are talking and unwinding for the night you can develop a routine to be there for her when it’s time for bed and maybe she will feel comforted and less lonely. I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. Maybe developing a new and different routine can help both of you feel more secure and happy- she won’t be lonely because you’ve put her to bed and you won’t feel resentful or guilty.

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

omg that's genius (OAOº) lol

change her bedtime to 10.

i'm not being sarcastic (m not rude like that :3)

that's honestly the smartest solution.

here I am all rambling away like a tool ^^

 

If you aren’t comfortable with it than I wouldn’t allow it just to make her happy because by solving one problem (her loneliness) you will just create other problems.

If you can’t talk after ten and she can’t seem to handle that one hour maybe you could change her bedtime to ten? That way as you two are talking and unwinding for the night you can develop a routine to be there for her when it’s time for bed and maybe she will feel comforted and less lonely. I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. Maybe developing a new and different routine can help both of you feel more secure and happy- she won’t be lonely because you’ve put her to bed and you won’t feel resentful or guilty.

[trvppydxddy]

I actually thought this was a great idea and I just brought it up to her. I explained to her that it would be a solution to help make both of us feel better, but she didn't like it at all. She says she can't fall asleep at 10 and that she barely can at 11, so I told her to do more things during the day like exercising etc. so that she would be tired but she won't. Now she says she doesn't want it fixed anymore if it's gonna be fixed like that but I don't want her to feel bad or get down when I'm not able to talk to her at that time so I really wanna fix it. She's being really close minded to it and won't even give it a try so it seems this is gonna be a lot harder than I thought. 

 

If you aren’t comfortable with it than I wouldn’t allow it just to make her happy because by solving one problem (her loneliness) you will just create other problems.

If you can’t talk after ten and she can’t seem to handle that one hour maybe you could change her bedtime to ten? That way as you two are talking and unwinding for the night you can develop a routine to be there for her when it’s time for bed and maybe she will feel comforted and less lonely. I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. Maybe developing a new and different routine can help both of you feel more secure and happy- she won’t be lonely because you’ve put her to bed and you won’t feel resentful or guilty.

Edited January 10, 2018 by trvppydxddy

[Lilkitten12]

Does she really want to fix it or does she just want a babysitter and this is what she’s come up with? Just remember it isn’t your job as her Daddy to bend over backwards to her every whim and put all of your feelings and wants aside to make her happy if it means sacrificing your own well-being and happiness in the relationship.

It sounds like you two should have an adult conversation about what’s going on. Sorry my idea didn’t work good luck.

[Guest Zephy]

I'm sorry to say this, but she is really acting like an immature stubborn child. She seems adamant about it and in her mind it's like having another CG would fix the problem and nothing else. She seems to have that kind of attitude. This is why I earlier said to talk outside of this dynamic as adults. You can either make a compromise where it's beneficial for both of you as you both seemed to have at one point the same idea about having an additional platonic partner or you think of other ideas to make it work. Now, here's the tricky part, you seem to be doing everything you can while she seems to be pushing you against the wall at every possible suggestion you come up with and makes you feel at a loss for what to do. I don't find this healthy behavior at all.

 

I'll suggest this as a certain last resort before you have to really think about where things are going with her. Ask her straight up and as an adult to think of possible suggestions how you guys can make this work where you BOTH can be happy without the need of an extra CG. If she really cares about your feelings she will help you think of ideas to make this work and together you can come up with something. Like honestly, even though I can somewhat understand about this one hour being without you, it is a bit too much for all this extra pressure and making you feel bad.

 

It's an hour, you can give her something to do. Chores, maybe she can do her homework, maybe color something for you, listening to audio books, maybe even stories you made for her to pass that time. There are plenty of possibilities, but will only work if SHE is willing and care enough to work on this.

[Maarloeve]

call her and wake her up an hour earlier.

[trvppydxddy]

So good news. We had a long talk about this and she hasn't really been the same lately because she's been stressed out and I told her that I missed her and she needs to stop throwing fits like this because she never did before and its unreasonable. Like I said, we had a long talk and we're going to work on it together so that we can grow together. As of right now, her bed time is from 10-11 so that we can ease her into it. Thank you guys so much for the advice and ideas it really helped me

I'm sorry to say this, but she is really acting like an immature stubborn child. She seems adamant about it and in her mind it's like having another CG would fix the problem and nothing else. She seems to have that kind of attitude. This is why I earlier said to talk outside of this dynamic as adults. You can either make a compromise where it's beneficial for both of you as you both seemed to have at one point the same idea about having an additional platonic partner or you think of other ideas to make it work. Now, here's the tricky part, you seem to be doing everything you can while she seems to be pushing you against the wall at every possible suggestion you come up with and makes you feel at a loss for what to do. I don't find this healthy behavior at all.

 

I'll suggest this as a certain last resort before you have to really think about where things are going with her. Ask her straight up and as an adult to think of possible suggestions how you guys can make this work where you BOTH can be happy without the need of an extra CG. If she really cares about your feelings she will help you think of ideas to make this work and together you can come up with something. Like honestly, even though I can somewhat understand about this one hour being without you, it is a bit too much for all this extra pressure and making you feel bad.

 

It's an hour, you can give her something to do. Chores, maybe she can do her homework, maybe color something for you, listening to audio books, maybe even stories you made for her to pass that time. There are plenty of possibilities, but will only work if SHE is willing and care enough to work on this.

 

 

Does she really want to fix it or does she just want a babysitter and this is what she’s come up with? Just remember it isn’t your job as her Daddy to bend over backwards to her every whim and put all of your feelings and wants aside to make her happy if it means sacrificing your own well-being and happiness in the relationship.
It sounds like you two should have an adult conversation about what’s going on. Sorry my idea didn’t work good luck.

 

 

omg that's genius (OAOº) lol

change her bedtime to 10.

i'm not being sarcastic (m not rude like that :3)

that's honestly the smartest solution.

here I am all rambling away like a tool ^^