Guest moontiaraprincess Posted October 2, 2018 Report Share Posted October 2, 2018 Feeling lost and scared.. I’ve been with my partner for about 4 years now. I’ve only realised I’m a little for a small portion of that time now but I’ve always been this way I just hadn’t figured it out. Now my relationship with my partner is strictly vanilla-ish I guess and I know I don’t want him to be my daddy but I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want him to think bad of me or that I’m gross. I keep on thinking what if I go on my whole life and never explore this. What if it’s what I need and I can’t live without a daddy. The reason why I say I don’t want him to be my daddy is that it’s just not that way with him and can’t ever imagine him acting the way a daddy does nor do I want him to because it’s kind of like I’ll be looking after him 99% of the time and he has troubles looking after himself let alone me too. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to ruin something good or idk I’m kinda just lost at the moment. I’m scared that if I never let my little side shine I’ll fall into depression again. I remember acting very little before I went into depression. Every time I think about being in the lifestyle it makes me so happy and excited. I also sometimes go into little space by myself but yeah just wanting advice as I’m just feeling lost. Thank you for listening to the rant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bunnyblossom Posted October 2, 2018 Report Share Posted October 2, 2018 Moon tiara princess. Sailor moon reference? ^^ Also welcome to the forum. You say that you’ve always been ‘like this’, just not necessarily openly identifying as.a Little or talking about DDLG in general. What of your personality that relates to what you might call your ‘little side’ are you open about, or present as just a trait you have- around your partner? I think that’s a good place to start. Don’t fret about him being your Daddy, he doesn’t need to be, and you don’t need one to be Little You obviously care for him very much, and that’s what’s important, the relationship first and foremost. From my experience, I explored DDLG by myself for the first idk, year? Just about. I barely spoke about ddlg or the forum with my husband/daddy. We just let things go however they may. Which doesn’t suit all couples, sometimes people are way too eager to get right into the whole dynamic- daddy, discipline, rules, punishments and all. Which fair enough, it can be exciting. ^^ We have a few threads in the Little Space section about being self-sufficient with your Little Space and being independent in regards to your Little side. It may be worth checking it out. You might find some ideas that you don’t think your partner will mind you doing in your freetime. Depression is a tricky thing to deal with. Little space or not, it creeps up on you. If you’re really adamant about giving your little side some breath, I really suggest you check out the topics I mentioned above (and will link below). There’s no shame in being a solo Little in a vanlla relationship. Things You Learnt About Yourself as a Little That You Didn’t Notice Before https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/34316-things-you-learned-about-yourself-as-a-little-that-you-didnt-know-before/ Making Little Space Your Space https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/34554-making-littlespace-your-space/ Ideas For Little Space Alone https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/29641-ideas-for-alone-timelittle-space/ Dealing With Feeling Alone (discusses depression) https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/34206-dealing-with-feeling-alone/ Little Space, but NOT Little Space https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/33762-little-space-but-not-little-space/ I really hope some of those are helpful for you whilst you’re waiting for responses. I sorted through a bunch to find the most ideal ones with some replies from a bunch of lovely members on here. Just try to take a breath. Maybe don’t binge-read them. ^^ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moontiaraprincess Posted October 2, 2018 Report Share Posted October 2, 2018 (edited) I’ve always found I like to be much more little than my age. Never wanted to give up toys and would cry if I had to. Got annoyed when parents said I had to give up my Disney and my little pony stuff hahha. I always want to be loved and cared for feel kinda needy at times. A lot of the time I feel like I need to be cared for and someone to be firm with me but I don’t really have that. Always enjoy doing lil things like doodling, watching cartoon, dressing up, etc etc. also bit weird but also get more sensitive in little space is this normal. One happy Disney song or a happy Christmas carol and I’m in tears lol Edited October 2, 2018 by moontiaraprincess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moontiaraprincess Posted October 2, 2018 Report Share Posted October 2, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bunnyblossom Posted October 2, 2018 Report Share Posted October 2, 2018 I’ve always found I like to be much more little than my age. Never wanted to give up toys and would cry if I had to. Got annoyed when parents said I had to give up my Disney and my little pony stuff hahha. I always want to be loved and cared for feel kinda needy at times. A lot of the time I feel like I need to be cared for and someone to be firm with me but I don’t really have that. Always enjoy doing lil things like doodling, watching cartoon, dressing up, etc etc. also bit weird but also get more sensitive in little space is this normal. One happy Disney song or a happy Christmas carol and I’m in tears lol Tbh, I’d say yes- totally normal e.e lol I’ve added some good urls to topics throughout the Little Space section of the forum in the post above for you. ^ Cartoons, doodling, dressups etc are all good fun. ^^ and stuff I did before I even knew about DD/LG. So try to place most of the focus on the things that aren’t totally ‘out of the norm’ for you, at first. That’s my suggestion. Introduce new activities gradually, and if you think it’s “too weird” you can always try to find a more “adult” alternative, or way to normalize it to outsiders ;D lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SmartAssLittle Posted October 2, 2018 Report Share Posted October 2, 2018 (edited) 4 years of "relationship" and you can not have honest conversation with your "partner". I don't understand how you people live. Edit: I just saw that you are 18 now. LoL Edited October 2, 2018 by SmartAssLittle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moontiaraprincess Posted October 2, 2018 Report Share Posted October 2, 2018 (edited) 4 years of "relationship" and you can not have honest conversation with your "partner". I don't understand how you people live. Edit: I just saw that you are 18 now. LoL I’m 19 and it is a hard thing to talk about no matter who to I’m sure you can understand Edited October 2, 2018 by moontiaraprincess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UpstateNewYorkDaddy Posted October 2, 2018 Report Share Posted October 2, 2018 So you've been with this guy since highschool. You describe him like he's immature. Do you want to stay with him? I recommend being honest with him and yourself. Don't ever be tempted to have a relationship outside of your current one. Cheating hurts even if you feel he isn't right for you Talk to him honestly, decide if he's right for you and if he can offer the maturity you seem to crave 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ~*~Sachita~*~ Posted October 2, 2018 Report Share Posted October 2, 2018 I am confused. You said that you take care of him 99% of the time and you don't want to ruin something good, correct? Those sound like a mismatch to me. If a good relationship consists of caregiving, maybe that is the spectrum you should be looking at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baby_k Posted October 4, 2018 Report Share Posted October 4, 2018 Sometimes people grow apart, even it sounds horrible cliche. I would advice you to think what you want from relationship and are you happy with how things are right now. Would you feel happy if things remained the same the next 5, 10 years? You also should talk about ddlg with your partner, maybe not about wanting a daddy but that you ( maybe ) identify as little. Because if that is what you are, you should not hide it from your partner. If you are not yet comfortable of talking about it, do your little stuff somewhat openly with him, so he can see that side of yours. Why you need to sort of tell him or express your little side to him: if you stay together, he should know you as you, and whole you. If you break up, it can be easier for him to understand that you have different desires and needs, so you are no longer a good match. I think you being afraid of ruining something good is perfectly normal. People are afraid of changes and whether they are making right choice. Possibly ending relationships is also always a major stress factor. Don't make rushed decisions but see how things go, how you feel and which choice starts to make most sense. Making the choice still won't be easy probably. You can also try to see if you can be truly happy without your partner also being your daddy. Or give him chance to try to be a daddy. Maybe his way of being one would be bit different than what you are thinking now but it can also help him getting his stuff together. I once got great advice I try to repeat here: sometimes you have to be selfish and look out just for you as that is your own job. So, consider what you want, hope, wish from life. And if your current relationship can give you those things ( also if it means that the rel needs to grow and change as that growth is possible even it may not always immediately seem like it ). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moontiaraprincess Posted October 5, 2018 Report Share Posted October 5, 2018 Sometimes people grow apart, even it sounds horrible cliche. I would advice you to think what you want from relationship and are you happy with how things are right now. Would you feel happy if things remained the same the next 5, 10 years? You also should talk about ddlg with your partner, maybe not about wanting a daddy but that you ( maybe ) identify as little. Because if that is what you are, you should not hide it from your partner. If you are not yet comfortable of talking about it, do your little stuff somewhat openly with him, so he can see that side of yours. Why you need to sort of tell him or express your little side to him: if you stay together, he should know you as you, and whole you. If you break up, it can be easier for him to understand that you have different desires and needs, so you are no longer a good match. I think you being afraid of ruining something good is perfectly normal. People are afraid of changes and whether they are making right choice. Possibly ending relationships is also always a major stress factor. Don't make rushed decisions but see how things go, how you feel and which choice starts to make most sense. Making the choice still won't be easy probably. You can also try to see if you can be truly happy without your partner also being your daddy. Or give him chance to try to be a daddy. Maybe his way of being one would be bit different than what you are thinking now but it can also help him getting his stuff together. I once got great advice I try to repeat here: sometimes you have to be selfish and look out just for you as that is your own job. So, consider what you want, hope, wish from life. And if your current relationship can give you those things ( also if it means that the rel needs to grow and change as that growth is possible even it may not always immediately seem like it ). thank you for your advice. I think if things don’t work out in a lil bit of time I’ll move away and start over. As for my little side I don’t think he’ll really understand it whenever I pick out clothes he sometimes scowls and says stuff like it looks like kids clothes (I feel like just going duh) and one time I was going to order a colouring book and he said colouring is for kids so I dunno Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baby_k Posted October 5, 2018 Report Share Posted October 5, 2018 thank you for your advice. I think if things don’t work out in a lil bit of time I’ll move away and start over. As for my little side I don’t think he’ll really understand it whenever I pick out clothes he sometimes scowls and says stuff like it looks like kids clothes (I feel like just going duh) and one time I was going to order a colouring book and he said colouring is for kids so I dunno What he says sounds bit belittling and nasty. Of course he might have reason for it ( like being affraid of stuff like that as he finds it interesting himself or that he is too rigid not to live by "the norm" ). Maybe write him a letter about these and tell him how it makes you feel that he is not suportive with your hobbies, likes and style ( just like you have done to us above ). As partner should not be like that even of course he does not have to like all you do. But with communicating you will find most likely peace with your choice: you have given them him a fair chance to work on your rel and make you happy and content. If he is not willing to work on those issues, well, tells quite a lot about your relationship and his appreciation towards you. One should be able to be their trueself with their partner and feel at ease. Atm that does not seem to be the case with you but to prevent any regret, guilt and other negative feelings: communicate with him. That way you will know for sure where he stands and what you would get also in future if you stay in that rel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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