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General Advice for New Daddies


Guest Miko
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Hey everyone!  So this is basically a thread for those daddies who may be new to the whole lifestyle and are not so experienced on it.  Any tips and advice from those more experienced would be much appreciated!  This is also a thread for those newbies who might have any specific questions regarding the lifestyle and whatnot.  Thanks in advance!

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I'm no Daddy but please, please, if you're a new Daddy, don't pretend you know it all just because you read up on it...

 

I've seen too many of those 

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I might suggest for any new daddy/little relationship that the daddy make the little specifically write out what they're interested in from the relationship. Not that you have to fine-line a contract, but it can be important to make the services you and your little are interested in very apparent. I went through a lot of bad parent types and my daddy helped me realize that I had no idea what I wanted from that sort of relationship. I just "wanted a daddy/mommy" so bad. If you write out what you want, both parties can agree on what their comfortable providing to each other.

 

Just an exercise that could be helpful, in my opinion.

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Guest taryn of arendelle

I bring this up because it's all too common Tumblr. There's nothing wrong with wanting to find your own special someone, but polite and courteous. The best way is to find a common interests and initiate a common interest that way. Show interest. There's nothing exciting about, "Hey how are you," or, "Are you single?"

 

I agree. What those sentences say to me are, "Hey I'm looking for a horny little girl I can use to my liking and I actually know nothing about the intricacies of ddlg."

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One of my tips would be is, don't be scared to ask questions. The best Daddy and even dom is one that isn't scared to learn stuff, ask questions and really get to know what it means to be a Daddy. You are going to be someones protector and someone who will be looking after another human. Plus if it's a sexual relationship you *might* be someones top, and it's better to know you have education and understanding of situations. 

 

Oh oh oh, and read a bunch. Lots of sites, lots of reading. Its super important. :3 Learn learn learn, that's how you become the best. 

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Hey, basically a complete noob in the community and I after spending some time at looking at how some daddies act and I was wondering if it was off putting for a daddy to not act like a dom from the get go? Or is it just the opposite and acting like that from the beginning can make you lose points with potential littles?
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Hey, basically a complete noob in the community and I after spending some time at looking at how some daddies act and I was wondering if it was off putting for a daddy to not act like a dom from the get go? Or is it just the opposite and acting like that from the beginning can make you lose points with potential littles?

No no no never act like a Dom right off the bat that can be very off putting and more than likely will raise a red flag to the little you are talking to

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The way you should start is by being friendly and open. Consider new situations like "dating." The major point when you're dating on a site like this, however, is that you both have something in common to start. It's good to be dommy, but you shouldn't start with anything sexual. Always talk first.

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One of my tips would be is, don't be scared to ask questions. The best Daddy and even dom is one that isn't scared to learn stuff, ask questions and really get to know what it means to be a Daddy. You are going to be someones protector and someone who will be looking after another human. Plus if it's a sexual relationship you *might* be someones top, and it's better to know you have education and understanding of situations. 

 

Oh oh oh, and read a bunch. Lots of sites, lots of reading. Its super important. :3 Learn learn learn, that's how you become the best. 

 

THIS! 100% 

 

Today I was conversing with a little who was seeking advice on behalf of her daddy because her daddy was too scared to approach me and ask a question due to the nature of a man asking another man for advice, perhaps a hit to his ego?

 

I stated this to him and he agreed it was the case. So Please, we need to gain as much knowledge as possible, we never stop learning :) and you know what?! Sometimes I even learn stuff from my little!! It's beautiful to learn!

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Hey, basically a complete noob in the community and I after spending some time at looking at how some daddies act and I was wondering if it was off putting for a daddy to not act like a dom from the get go? Or is it just the opposite and acting like that from the beginning can make you lose points with potential littles?

 

For the most part, you want to approach littles like an average person who just so happens to enjoy being little. You have to appeal to their senses of having someone as a partner first before you can be their Daddy/Dom/etc. , at least in my opinion. Being very up front if they aren't acting in turn (pretty easy to spot) is a turn off as seen by the fact that it's pretty common place on the internet to full on mock "Get on your knees for me" first messages.

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Exactly Mrboneswildride, a princess is not going to give you any attention if you don't treat them like a princess! Very few littles will appreciate a message such as "get on your knees for me" because frankly, submission is to be earnt, not expected.

 

ALWAYS treat littles with respect, and you shall receive the same basic respect back. There is a time and a place to act like the mean daddy, and that's not right away!

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Guest DominantBlogger

My biggest suggestion would be to interact with and talk to other caregivers.  Not just Daddies, either...  There are common dynamic questions that come across in most all of the caregiver/little dynamics.  Encourage your little to also find other little friends with which to engage.  Don't isolate yourself or your partner.  It never ends well. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

There is honestly soooo much advice to give. But I do not want to write a book. So the best things to go by is do not think if you are doing something right or wrong. There is no real right or wrong. Just go with the flow of whatever feelings you have. Every Daddy (caregiver) has a different style of how to be a Daddy or Mommy. No 2 are the same. Just like no 2 littles are the same. Then if you do end up doing something your little one does not like, they will most likely communicate it to you so you know for next time. Then over time the Daddy and little dynamic between you 2 will be almost seamless once you get a feel for each others Daddy and little personalities. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest now_in_3D

There is honestly soooo much advice to give. But I do not want to write a book. So the best things to go by is do not think if you are doing something right or wrong. There is no real right or wrong. Just go with the flow of whatever feelings you have. Every Daddy (caregiver) has a different style of how to be a Daddy or Mommy. No 2 are the same. Just like no 2 littles are the same. Then if you do end up doing something your little one does not like, they will most likely communicate it to you so you know for next time. Then over time the Daddy and little dynamic between you 2 will be almost seamless once you get a feel for each others Daddy and little personalities. 

 

 

I agree with this. I've been daddying for a long time and the most important thing I've learned is that no two littles are a like. Mr. Bones stated that you approach a little like an average person and I agree with that as well. Every person is different and making sure you have the patience and energy to get to know someone and what their likes/fears/hopes/dreams are will only make the bond stronger.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Hi everybody! My name is Greg and I'm new to the lifestyle, but certainly not new to the caring loving nurturing nature of a daddy. If this gets longwinded, I apologize, just a nervous rambler. My girlfriend of eight months has accepted her little side, and accepted that the facets of our relationship fit almost every aspect of a DD/lg relationship. All except one: the discipline and reward aspect. She said that she's not big on that and she would probably fight whatever discipline was put forward. We want to get into the lifestyle, but I'm not one to do things half-assed (pardon my language). My questions concerning this are numerous, but the two most pressing ones are: have any of you out there ever heard of a dd/lg relationship with no discpline aspect? And how would I bring this up to her without upsetting her( the last thing I want to do is cause problems do us)
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It's definitely possible - if you focused on the Caregiver/little aspects of the relationship, it seems like that may be what you're looking for! Maybe avoid making rules, or if you do, use conversation instead of discipline to fix that.
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  • 2 weeks later...
Hi, I'm a new daddy. And I really don't know what I'm doing she introduced it to me and we've been together for awhile and I like it. I feel closer to her. But I'm not sure if I'm doing a good job. Anyone mind giving me some tips pls?
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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Tread, every DD/lg dynamic is unique and is shaped by the needs and wants of the people in the relationship. Since your partner introduced it to you, I'd recommend you first ask her what she needs or wants from a Daddy. Some things to ask about:

 

Does she want you to read her bedtime stories? Make blanket forts with her? Color with her? Give her bubble baths? Touch her in naughty ways? Etc. Every little is different.

 

Does she want to be given rules? If so, what sort of rules? A bedtime? Rules on what to eat? What to wear?

 

Does she want to be given tasks? If so, what sort of tasks? Making sure she gets her homework done on time? Giving her books to read? Chores?

 

It's also good to think about and figure out what you want or need out of the relationship. As you learn and talk with her about each of your wants and needs, you'll gain the information needed to negotiate a DD/lg dynamic that makes you both happy. And she may want something that you're not willing to give, or vice versa, and so there will be compromises, but that's just part of building a healthy relationship.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks for all the external links guys and gals. Will definitely read up on the role more.

 

Gathering that laying things out at the start is very important so both parties can know what they are getting out of the relationship.

 

DaddyT

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Guest Scottishdaddy

Thank you,there's a lot of information to read here,and it will take some time to go through,but I know it will all be beneficial.

 

My own personal journey is just beginning,and there is one aspect that I'm worried about.

 

My interests lie in having a little;I love the idea of someone who is cute,loves attention,girly clothes,films and hobbies;wants a man to care and protect her like a daddy. I love sex too,but I want a girl who is more interested in the romantic,loving side of the dynamic.

 

My fear is that most littles need that dom side of a man,which,in all honesty,I have no experience of at the moment.

 

Does anyone know if these aspects of the relationship are forever entwined,or do littles range in their desires? In other words,do some littles prefer a gentlemanly daddy as opposed to a dominant daddy?

 

I enjoy the idea of loving my little when I find her,but the prospect of harming her,even with negotiated limits,is a worry to me.

 

Do all daddy doms need to chastise physically to an extreme,or are some littles content with a mild spanking,or to the other extreme,not want any physical punishment doled out?

 

I may not have explained myself too well,apologies.

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