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Silver_Lilly
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Hello :) Um, well, like my subject line says, I'm new and confused. I'm really hoping you can help me, please!

 

I have never really done anything like this before, but after a recent EX BF assumed responsibility for me and my trying to be sexually submissive to him, I have some questions. It was a long distance relationship, and neither of us really realized what we were doing meant. He knew that someone had to make sure I had better care, and that we both liked him being in charge of most things. So since us breaking up, I have tried talking to some Doms and a Daddy, asking them different questions about things. I now know I am not strictly a submissive, but idk if I am a Sub Brat, or a Little. The Daddy thinks I am a little, and I am hoping to get your opinions, since you guys would know best what makes a little.

 

I am TERRIBLE at taking care of myself. I forget to eat, or sleep until my body just drops. I forget to take medicine until my pain gets so bad that I cry. I truly try to remember, but I just lose track of time and everything around me. I'm ussualy late for things because somethings always happening. I'm also accident prone. If there's a way to fall, get cut, burnt, or anything else, I will some how manage to do it. I have been known to trip over air. I don't like being out alone in public, I feel awkward and lonely, and I end up talking to strangers- which has been both a good, and a bad thing. My friends are always saying I am like a little kid in the way I do things and that I need someone to take care of me. In a group I worry about if other people are happy and I will run myself ragged trying to help anyone that seems like they need something, so much so that I don't care for myself and will make myself sick pushing my body too hard.

 

I like toys, and drawing, and arts and crafts. Somehow, no matter how careful I am, I always end up covered in paint, clay, jam, honey, or any other sticky mess that can happen, and I hate being sticky. I LOVE games, I can't get enough of any kinds: board games, cards, Tabletop RP, computer, video games, all games. I love cartoons and anime. And I'm fascinated by shiny objects... I just can't help it, they're SHINY! I love dressing up in costumes and make up, especially getting my face painted. ;) I have a REALLY hard time resisting cute socks, be they ankle, knee, or thigh high, but I ultimately prefer to run around barefoot everywhere. I have been know to forget my shoes when heading out some where. *Blush* I love being cuddled and snuggled and especially being told a story. I get excited over little things, small things make me happy, and I will bounce up and down with joy and/or clap. I enjoy walking down the street holding my friends' hands, or holding onto their arm. I also get more joy out of candy then I probably should, especially lollipops.

 

I want to be loved and cherished, I want to be someone's only love. I want to be someone's first priority, just like they will be mine. I want the person that I do this with to eventually be my Husband, my partner in and out of bed in all ways. I want someone to want to take care of me, to do things for me, just like I want to do things to help and care for him. I want someone to put a collar on me and put me over their knee and spank me, and do lots of other things with me, to dominate me sexually.

 

...so here's the part that I am not sure if it keeps me from being a little or not: I don't want to do age play. I'm not doing something to feel like a little kid, everything I do I do because it's just who I am and what I like doing, and how I do it. I have felt the same age since I was a little kid, but I also was reading the complete works of Shakespeare in 3rd grade, and I had bad parents so I have been taking care of myself since I was about 6-7, including doing my own laundry.

 

I know I need someone to take care of me, and I like the idea of what a Daddy is supposed to be for someone, but I don't know if I should be looking for a Dom, a Daddy, or combination of the two. What do you all think? Please help me, I'm very lost. :(

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I'm not too experienced yet in this community, but I'm pretty sure the definition of a little is about the ageplay. I could be wrong on that though. Whereas ageplay is acting at a younger age than you truly are. Anyone feel free to correct me, since I'm pretty new myself.

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Lilly, first of all, I would stop worrying too much about what you are. It's just definitions, and even then those definitions are different for everybody. Just be yourself! Find the things (within BDSM and DDlg) you like and do those, and ignore the ones you don't. You like drawing? Great! Then draw! Does that make you a little? Who cares? It means you like to draw.

 

What is important though is what you need from your partner. But again, look for specific traits and a personality that you like, not definitions. Don't go looking for a 'Master' or a 'Daddy', look for someone you like and someone who can give you what you want and need.

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Advent, I do act younger then my age, but I'm not playing at it, it's just the way I am. People are always guessing my age Much younger then I am (even though I have large breasts and hips/behind), and saying that I am very child like in manner.

 

Bart, thank you, I appreciate the advice. :) I don't like labels normally, but while I know what I want, I'm not sure about the right words to ask for it without having a big long explanation to someone from the start. I'm trying to find the words and means to be able to ask for things, and to know what other people mean when they tell me what they want. I have always had "vanilla" relationships before, with just a bit wilder sex. Those weren't what I needed though, and I was always a bit unhappy, no matter how hard I tried. Hopefully, once I know what to ask , or look, for I will find what I want and need.

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I'm new to this whole thing and what you described is me 100% :D You'll see a lot of similarities between you and other littles. Which I love because it makes me feel less alone. 

 

Personally, I identify as a little. I did my research on all this stuff and as soon as I found out about this something just clicked with me ^^ If it feels right, then you're a little. But we've both come so far already without giving our quirkiness a name :3 so in short, you're you.

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Guest Andrew10

Im completely new to the whole lifestyle, but ever since I found out about it I have been reading about it non stop and reaching out to others to learn more, which is how I know that I am a Dom Daddy. I completely agree with Remi, DDLG and age play are two different things, even though they may cross paths. I also agree with Bart, that there are no definitions that you have to categorize yourself as, you are you, and you don't need to label it. I'd suggest that you read and reach out to couples that have experience with DDLG. In my opinion it does sound like you have a submissive personality, but like I said you don't have to label it, its just who you are. I hope that you find that perfect someone your looking for.

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Thank you all, You have helped me a bunch, and really appreciate it! I think I do count as a Little, or some version of that.

 

A few straight Doms have said that they can train me out of my bad habits and to make me take care of myself, but they didn't understand that I HAVE tried, like really hard, and it just isn't something I can do or change. I think I do need to find a Daddy or a Daddy Dom.

 

You guys helped me find myself a bit more, and to know what I need. ❤️

 

I hope you don't mind me asking more questions later as I think of them?

 

A few come to mind already honestly. Like what's the difference between a Baby Girl or a Little? Or is that just the name for a female Little?

 

Also, I saw a Rules Post about nick names or pet name- is it bad for someone to call me sweetie or honey? I tend to call anyone I like as a person (not a sexual thing) "hon" or even "honey", is that bad? I don't mean anything by it other then friendliness. My whole life people call me by pet names or nick names, I just seem to collect them, how do I know the difference between that as a friend and someone being inappropriate with me?

 

I want to make sure I don't accidentally say or do anything to upset people. I really really hate to see someone unhappy or hurting, it makes me want to cry. Is there some place that has rules or etiquette for this life style that I can read please?

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