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DDLG long distance problems, seeking advice/help


Goda
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Okay, so off the bat I'll admit I'm new to the whole dd/lg thing so i know I'm the best Daddy. I have began a relationship with a woman (she's 21 and I'm 26) and she came out and told me she is most comfortable as a little and explained the whole dd/lg thing to me and I did some research. Now the biggest problem is she refuses to listen to me when I try to tell her what is best for her to do. She says I don't pay attention to her and she wants my attention all the time, literally wanting sleepy skype calls etc. I'm on skype with her as often as I can be, problem is I'm not the most talkative guy in the world and me sitting in skype and responding when she talks to me but not really initating other than asking what she is doing or if she talks about something I ask her what she is talking about she gets mad at me and says that I don't care about her or love her.

 

I've tried suggesting we watch movies or shows together and she says she would rather wait and do that in person. Lately she has been getting very angry very quickly with me and will get into 4 hour arguments over something as small as skype crashing on my phone and she thinks I'm hanging up, today she told me she was trying to make some friends and the guy she was talking to said he just wanted to fuck her and she said that she is starting to consider having sex with random guys because I'm taking too long to help get her up here to me,

 

Oh and she said she hates me because when she says I'm doing something, (like when she accuses me of cheating on her when I'm on skype with her as much as I can) and I defend saying I'm not doing that, she says I'm spewing bullshit and making up excuses. She has PCOS so she is very hormonal and emotional. Another piece of info is she wanted me to buy her a collar so she could feel owned, yet she refuses to wear it every day like I have told her to(she is in between jobs and her roommate already understands the collar thing so there is no reason why she shouldn't wear it, i understand her not wanting to wear it at a job or anything or if it would be allowed)

 

I'm looking for help from any other DD's or LG's on here to help me figure out what I'm doing wrong, if anything.

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Hi Goda, first welcome to the forums!

 

I am sorry you are having a rough time with your little. By and far the things you are telling us make it sound like she is having a lot of personal things go on and is unfairly taking a lot out on you. It isn't okay for her to threaten to sleep with other guys if y'all haven't established an open relationship. It also isn't okay for her to demand every second of your time and become angry and say things like she hates you.

 

Speaking from a little point of view I do need a lot of attention from my daddy and sometimes I can be fussy but I would never threaten him or tell him I hate him or cause hours long arguments because he couldn't give me his undivided attention all the time. It just isn't okay for anyone to treat another person like that in a relationship...period no matter the dynamic.

 

We only have your view of things but from what you have shared it sounds like you are doing the best you can given the situation. LDRs are tough sometimes but it honestly shouldn't be like this. I would try and ask her if there is something more going on, ask her why she is lashing out at you like this.

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If I were in your position and my girlfriend was saying she's considering cheating on me, then I'd just end it. I'm not saying you should, just that that is what I would do.

 

You sound like a great guy putting up with all of that. I'm surprised she doesn't recognise that you're trying so hard to please her. By the sounds of things, and in my opinion, you're not doing anything wrong.

 

As for advice on how to 'fix' the situation, I couldn't help. I have no experience with relationships as a whole, let alone problematic ones.

All I can say is, I really hope it works out for you. You definitely deserve better.

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This thread is very similar to some others we have. I'm going to link you to those, and lock this post.

I hope you guys figure it out! But remember, DDLG is still a relationship of equals. If your partner is being unfair or manipulative, you need to discuss it as adults. Do not remain in an unhealthy relationship. Honestly, you seem to be doing very well. Maybe between you, you need to come up with a definite idea of what you want from this relationship?

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/5590-ldr-rewards-punishments/

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/6036-new-cg-having-second-thoughts-need-help/

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/6051-tell-me-some-online-success-stories/

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/5637-long-distance-advice/

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/5506-how-do-you-keep-your-partner-close-when-you-have-to-be-apart/

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