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How to get over your ex-Daddy


Daddylovesme

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He broke up with me yesterday, and as someone with PTSD.... I am not functioning very well. I have attatchment issues. But anyways, how can I still be little and not have Him? I started out my ddlg journey with him and I have never not had a Daddy before and now... now being little or going into little space feels like Im being bad, like it's toxic for me now. I feel like my little side is cowering in fear and afraid to come out cause I've been hurt. 

 

I don't know what to do. 

Advice? 

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First let me say that I'm sorry you're hurting. If you do not have psychological help for your issues please seek out professional counselling as soon as possible.

 

If it hurts to go into little space right now, don't force anything. Try to find alternative methods to relax. Be good to yourself. I usually ask myself what would I want my caregiver to do right now? And can I do that or something similar for myself.

Basically love yourself and treat yourself in ways that are soothing to you.

 

I know that can be hard.

 

Talk to friends. Try to be active and among people who love you. Even if the hurt of losing such an intimate bond may be harder than the average break up, most people understand the pain of a break up and will be willing to help you.

 

Just my first thoughts. Take care.

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Hihi♡~°•

 

I really wish to help you out here but I don't know if you'd like me to give you my 2 cents on this matter, rhetorically fix it (ik I can't possibly fix something that is out of my hands)?

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Lol Imma jus go ahead and try to help

And stop over thinking it.

 

~note: I wanna mention that I've experienced situation(s) similar to yours in the past and therefore understand almost exactly how you mean but not 'spot on'♡ So please keep dat in mind as I try to help ^m^

 

|☆|

 

First off,

There should be nothing to be afraid of when it comes to Littlespacey wacey~° in my understanding it's all full of warmth, self-indulgence in happiness and innocence, cuddles, sweets, lazing infront of the Telly watching your favourite programme as you feel stressors from adulting fade away (cute slang word lol)

To me that sounds amaz-gumballz!

It sounds therapeutic and like a safety net as if you're a fishy jumping into a fishing net (minus the dying)

The fish is flying! You're flying!

 

.. wait .. where is dis going >.>

 

.. OH RIGHT! Lol

 

There are tons of beautiful factors that play into PKB's reasons why dis should be a good thing!.. and it can be if you let yourself switch your little amazing, pink-onesie-wearing mind over from headspace hurting you to headspace helping you! c:

I really think this will help you Lil'kitten.

I know it easier said then done, but keep in mind that I felt same way as you.

I didn't mention it, but now I am (lol)

 

°at a time in my life, due to other things that happened (including everything you said of your relationship is relatable)->

I was a mess.

I was a complete mess and crying every night and having my BFF have to send me funny gifs to make me happy nearly every 5 minuted.. but let's not get to the crummy details (my bff- who is vanilla lol I think it funny she was *snickers* I always teased her and she teased me lol)

My current S.O. was my guy BFF at the time and was there for everything. Every. Single. Thing.

 

And wanna know what my S.O. & current Daddy told me about feeling like Little space is harmful to me and I shouldn't even try to practice it and how much I felt like I didn't deserve to be in Little space bc i feel bad about doing like I'm doing something wrong and being to afraid from being in Little space since for me, I was hurt while in Little space and the fact I had failed at being perfect in Littlespace and caused this and that, and *a lot more belittling words and self-degrading Things due to being impossibly hurt* ?

 

EXACTLY what I tell you! Hehe (though I modified what he said so it's his and mine words)

 

But he told me that there shouldn't be any reason to. And if I deep down, waaaaaay past my hurt and past what ever happened, if I reaaaly truly was hurting due to not being in Little space as if Little me was huddled in a corner crying because Bigger Me don't let her come through and being so scared... and yet still wanting to come out and be little....

 

If I truly feel that way than there should be no one stopping me from letting my Littlespace come forward and allowing myself to regress because you wanna know something too?

 

You are Amazing. You are the most wonderful person and you make yourself this way. You deserve to be happy. And if being happy means Littlespace then so be it. If fear is stopping you from being happy- what is you fear at all when it's basically, if you were able to make it into, a person holding your shoulders saying you cannot pass them?

You can easily push the human down and be what you wanna be. Be happy!

 

Do things, if not bring and encourage Littlespace, that help you become happy and do things that you aren't afraid to do for any reason.

 

If you like colouring (Little space out of this equation) then colour.

Do things that will gradually help you focus on a specific task and distract you or take anything else in your mind awaybas you slowly relax and start feeling more comfortable in your skin. Things that bring creativity to the surface rather than unhappy thoughts.

 

☆write in a journal or anything that is paper

☆draw; paint; throw glitter around; make arts and crafts (cuz u don't need to be Little to enjoy those:3)

☆Find an extracurricular activity that grabs your interest and keeps you active and moving

☆Find extracurricular activities that are soothing and relaxing

~DIY spa

~taking soothing baths

~going for a casual, relaxing stroll through your neighbourhood or park

~watch movies that make you laugh (my favourite)

~spend time with friends ♡

 

And much like Gandi_Bee said, surround yourself with positive people who love and support you.

 

I'm sorry if I seemed pushy or overbearing... especially about Little space.. but I just..

 

It something I had a horrribbleee time with and so I found a sort of passion for it ♡

 

I hope all is well and.. know that there are people there for you, if you ever need it ♡

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I’m going through the exact same thing.

I’ve never had an actual daddy before, just online/LDR short lived stuff that didn’t end well. But then I met a guy that I genuinely liked, even before we started to talk about DDLG and stuff, he wasn’t just my daddy but someone I truly adored. And he ended up ghosting me, it’s been like a week or so.

 

Ever since that I haven’t been able to go into little space because it hurts so much because it reminds me of him. I’m feeling really hurt and can’t quite cope with that especially because little space was always my happy, safe place. And he took that away from me :(

 

Sorry I can’t give you any advice, just know that you are not alone.

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Music will often reach out and talk to you.  Country music tends to talk to you more after you've had your heart broken.  Crystal Gale seems to speak to me more than once with the right message.  She has a song called I'll Get Over You.  Positive message that you need to here time after time until the message becomes ingrained.

 

  sfw
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Guest ~*~Sachita~*~

I am so sorry this happened. Unfortunately, I don't have any advice. If your little side is scared to come out, maybe try to do things that would heal someone that age? Go out for ice cream, draw a picture of your feelings, scream into a pillow? Or maybe you could try something new, something you never did with your daddy.

 

Here are some links for topics about break-ups and little activities, hope this helps:

 

After a breakup

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/3306-losing-a-little/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/4942-im-a-lost-princess-i-need-help-please/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/5564-my-little-disappearedcompletely-devastated/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/7515-daddy-dumped-me/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/33157-moving-on-from-a-strong-ddlg-relationship/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/33297-what-to-do-if-your-daddy-leaves-you/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/33307-how-to-move-on-from-a-break-up-please-advices/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/33877-break-ups/

 

Little Activities

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/74-huge-list-of-little-activities/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/140-date-ideas/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/388-activities-you-do-in-middle-space/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/623-ideas-for-days-out/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/2870-little-middle-space-activities-for-the-summer/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/3993-what-do-you-do-in-little-space/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/4363-little-things-to-do-together/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/4816-cute-things-to-do-with-daddy/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/4984-little-space-activities/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/5670-being-ddlg-in-public/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/6341-activities-for-a-solo-little/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/9671-activities-with-your-daddy/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/16758-what-is-your-favorite-activity-to-do-with-your-littledaddymommy/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/19823-ideas-for-little-space/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/21289-daily-activities-for-a-little/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/23075-things-to-do-when-you-dont-have-a-daddy/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/25202-keeping-busy-with-daddy-help-please/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/26203-fun-activities-with-my-little-suggestions/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/28232-what-do-you-do-in-little-space/

Edited by Sachita
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